 Reynard_T_Fox: You take a left on Success Ave., then go straight through the intersection of Well Groomed St., make a left turn on Not Wallowing In Own Filth Rd., and you should see my hovel on the left. |  Seltaeb: Well, I started using the Bedazzler on the window sill, then I just got carried away. |  Meldrick: "Well now look, dear, you completely missed that Klansman buried in the asphalt up to his head. Pull over and let me drive."  AgentQ: The treatment of these newspapers is shameful. Fortunately, ALF will free them. "The Animal Liberation Front? Why would--" No, I mean ALF. The puppet. He'll do it. Not sure why.  Jazzsoda: In Xanadu did Kubla Khan, a stately pleasure dome decree... and yeah, I'm making up the rest: The beach was nice, and Spanish Rice did on the ladies pee.  Reynard_T_Fox: "Yes, lovely epaulettes, but my bib denotes me a Lieutenant. I do hope to recieve the Admiral Binky one day though." (rings Jazz's doorbell)  Jazzsoda: "Sir, someone at the door for you." "Can't you see I'm BUSY peeing out the gas lamps?" "But sir, why do we have olden-style gas lamps AND a doorbell?" "I'm NEVER going to get to bed at this rate!"  HanoverF: If you forgot to spring for flowers, just upchuck, they're dead, what the fuck do they care.  Jazzsoda: "Hey Jazz, whatcha doin'?" "Don't bother me now, Rey Fox left this flaming bag on my porch and- Aw, shit!" "What?" "Shit!" "Huh?" "Shit!" "Eh?" "Okay, what's with the boner lady?"  Jazzsoda: Now let's check back in with Barqmethelemeccaleppe: Redneck Hunter, only on ABC.  Reynard_T_Fox: "My duty is done. Jazz will never finish his Xanadu cap now. He also has the leavings of a cur on his bootheel. Most excellent."  Jazzsoda: "Sir! I implore you, you must hide me. Barqmethelemeccaleppe is hot on my trail, like a crazed weiner dog half-way up my ass!" "Knock knoooooock!" "HE'S HERE!!"  Seltaeb: "You can de-tassle me, buy you'll never take my chest Mentos!"  Meldrick: The army needed a man to stand up to the H bomb, and Fred was just such a man.... for 0.00067 seconds, anyway.  Reynard_T_Fox: The tux says "classy", but the face says "Kinkos late-night regular"  Meldrick: "Weird, I put my ear to it and hear the inside of a shell."  AgentQ: "Jeeves, it has come to my attention that the Playboy Mansion is haunted." "Haunted, sir?" "I am tormented by the souls of Playmates who lost their lives too soon." "That must be--" "A lot, yes."  Hippie: Oh, sure, blame me because your head is *slightly* wobbly. A lot of vampires wouldn't have even sewn it back on, asshole. Call me Count Softy.  HanoverF: "Killer Albino Rubix Cubes? Thats Perposterou-"*SPLAT*  Seltaeb: "Hello... Cleveland... rock and roll... *grumble*..." Jazzsoda: Run you old fuck! The ghost of the ice cube tray is gaining on you! Gaining I say!  Reynard_T_Fox: "I got the most badass jacket ever now. Thank you, Tandy Leather." "Hey, what time is it?" "Dunno." *shrugs, punctures cheeks*  AgentQ: If you were getting chased by Four-Legged Dracula, you were bound to get caught. Vamp can run, dude.  Jazzsoda: "Finally... only here in the barren wasteland can I be free of incessant pursuit by my mortal nemesis, Barqmethelemeccaleppe. Holy crap! That paper bag is on fire! *stompstompsto-* Damn you ReyFox!"  Hippie: This looks like a job for... Superman! Which means I, Junkie Painter Lad, am once again left swinging in the wind. Time to get back to my canvas and needle, I guess...  Reynard_T_Fox: "I should have known you'd eventually find me, Sputnik." *beep boop*  Jazzsoda: "Wait a minute, Barqmethelemeccaleppe. Let me get this straight. You pursued me for eleven years, across six continents, just so I could help you give your grandma a bath?" "Of course." "Whew! I thought you were going to eat my fa-AAAAAAAAuuuugh!" "*wipes mouth* Idiot."  JediClone: Phil Collins IS Dracula! "o/' Ey kent dance! Ey kent talk! Only theeng about me is de vay Ey valk!"  Hippie: Hernia Fight! *Aw, shit! Ouch! *Aarrrgh! *Can't take a friendly poke, mother--oowwww! *Does it hurt when I--fuck! Owwee!  Seltaeb: Aw, man! We got homework on the weekend? Damn you, Gerson!  Reynard_T_Fox: Anyone else sense desperation in the latest Republican campaign ads?  Jazzsoda: "Let's all go out and lobby, let's all go out and lo-bby, let's all go out and loooobby, and get our-selves some pork..."  Reynard_T_Fox: "This Spiderman is a menace to our city! Look what he did to our world map! Brian tried to point something out on it the other day, and it took five men to get him off!"  Jazzsoda: Brian stands at the front of the classroom, blueballed, eternally unsatisfied. Last time it took five men to get him off. [Editor's Note: Damn you Jaaaazz!]  Hippie: A grotesque scene Macy's found waiting for them in the morning. A lone mannequin, armed, shot down six and left only three stunned, motionless witnesses. And none of 'em were talking.  Seltaeb: He's been biting his nails for five weeks straight. He really should sweep those clippings up.  JediClone: Where would YOU be without silicone? Well, first off, your 20-something trophy wife and her new boobs would be gone! *POP* Now who's going to do the dishes?  keogh: With the advent of computers, the typewriter industry depends on a single ego-driven sale each year from Harlan Ellison to survive.  HanoverF: "Knees to elbows, strike zone or pants? I can never remember, so both. Words to live by Timmy, Words to live by!" |