 Jazzsoda: After the 7 1/2 floor was turned into condos, somebody labeled the portal "Trash Chute," and Malkovich developed Tourettes. True story. |  Hippie: It's not uncommon for movie stars to wash up on the small screen. But couldn't the multi-talented John Goodman find a better vehicle than this "Punching John Goodman in the Face" reality show? | Jazzsoda: "You can't resist my love forever, Pinocchio! Kiss me now!" "Goddammit! I'm not gay!" *NOSE ZOOMS AROUND THE WORLD*  Hippie: Jerry hoped to share his race hatred with the crowd inside Coon's. How disappointed he was to find a family of immigrant woodland creatures running the place. Reynard_T_Fox: "I wonder I can get a Coors Lite at this bar. Hey, barkeep-" "Get out. *cocks gun*"  Hippie: Yes, it's everyone's favorite game show: "Face Your Bass Clef"! And back to our game: Reg, this obscure bass riff was buried under layers of Phil Spector production...  Jazzsoda: *dunks head in toilet* "Where's the Sour Patch Kids, Lebowski?"  Reynard_T_Fox: "Aaaand, gotcha, cereal-box-on-top-shelf! Thank you, Kitchen Skewer!" *cereal rains down on countertop*  Jazzsoda: "Welcome to the 7 1/2th floor condos. I'll be your Real Estate agent, Trent Fla-" *head/ceiling friction fire* "FUCK A DUCK! NOT AGAIN!"  Hippie: We got the x-ray back, Mr. Gere. How you ever got 15 perfectly preserved cherry cordials up your... well, I'm impressed. I'll admit it.  AgentQ: Reginald's features were not so much "weathered" as "hurricaned."  Hippie: (Off stage motivational speaker) Sure, I used to be like you... no money... lousy job... horrible, craggy face! *Earl's head tilts ever so slightly*  Hippie: (Off stage motivational speaker) And what do we really want out of life? A nice house? A job we enjoy? Young boys covered with honey, begging to be touched? *Mack's head tilts with a glint in his eye*  keogh: "Excuse me, are you suggesting we...offer hearts to our customers? Actual human hearts?" "Ye...no. Uhm...I mean...have you? Did it work?"  Jazzsoda: "Whoop. Looks like the quickshit patch caught me another Ewok." "Gee bee nunu waka!" *pushes Ewok face deeper into quickshit*  GodoHell: "Whatcha got, Fred?" 'Truckload of dead babies!' "Hey, d'ya ever hear--" 'Fuck yeah I've heard it!!!'  Hippie: Welcome to the annual You Parade! Come down and enjoy the parade! Come down and BE the parade! No spectators allowed. Parade route can be improvised.  Seltaeb: Soup roulette! My money's on chicken noodle red!  Hippie: This is bullshit! The dish keeps getting smaller every day! What is this anyway, a fez?!? There's dandruff at the bottom!  Reynard_T_Fox: Amazingly, after skiing right into the giant razor blade, Sean still managed to finish in third place.  Hippie: Is this Canada? *Yah. Sure is. You trade in money for Canada Bucks. *The sign says "Canadl". *Is how we spell Canada. Canada Bucks! *Looks a lot like Italy. *Canada Bucks! Yay!  Reynard_T_Fox: They told me I had sonar intuition too, but could I navigate my way through a darkened room strung with piano wires? I'll let you guess after you see all my bloody gashes.  JediClone: Julia Child IS still not decomposing due to the sheer volume of residual cooking-sherry in her system when she died. They didn't even need to embalm her! Next slide please.  Jazzsoda: "So what, you couldn't tack on a few commandments for an old buddy? Nothing about curing male-pattern baldness?" "Dave-" "Honeys pressing their titties on my windshield glass?" "Better recognize." |