 Reynard_T_Fox: "On the ukelele, Mark Jurgens!" *applause* "On the shit-eating grin, Dick Nixon!" *applause* |  SunSinner: ...it's actually more lively than the Dungeon of Dividends. |  HanoverF: "Well if Newman wants a beer why doesn't Newman get Newman's Own beer?"  Seltaeb: Oh, the train is full of Rick Moranis impersonators! That's why the tickets were so cheap! GersonK: "Why, I remember when this train cost a penny, and every third trip, one of the magical elves would come by and service ya."  MadSigntist: Later, NASCAR added 'Use Four Wheels' to 'Go Fast' and 'Turn Left' as a basic tenet.  Hippie: The director solved the problem of the driver being about a foot shorter than his leading lady in the passenger seat. Jazzsoda: Did anybody else know "The Fast and the Furious" was actually a remake of this 1951 film, "The Sensibly Paced and the Courteous"?  Hippie: 50 Cent puts a tooth under his pillow and waits for the Tooth Fairy. That motherfucker's 24 karat! Bitch better bring her checkbook!  AgentQ: "Is the candy cane not enough candy for you? Why not try the new 'candy brick'? You'll love it, or my name isn't 'child molester'! I mean, um..." *throws brick into crowd* *flees*  Reynard_T_Fox: "I hear the Wichita Lineman bitching in the wires again." "Me too, I hear his whine in the whine all right." "What a pussy."  JediClone: "Hi, I'd like a-" "Hello thank you for trying CitiBar. Your call is important to us" "Yeah. I'd like a-" "For beer, press 1." "HEY!" "For wine press 2" "Bitch" "For hard liquor, press 3"  GersonK: "Did you put in a call for Darrens #1 and #7?"  Hippie: Stage fighting would've been better if Gary hadn't been so afraid of getting hit he walked into scene at that angle. Seltaeb: Damn, those are some pretty big teeth he just knocked out of that guy!  Hippie: These guys found a real niche market with fans of the Three Stooges who wished they always wore hats and worked out their problems without violence.  Seltaeb: "Now the kids won't ever get these popsicles way up here!" "But won't the sun melt them?" "I guess I hadn't though of..." "And won't birds get to them anyway?" "I didn't say it was foolproof!"  Hippie: Hi, this is Hank from the phone company. I died on this cross for your sins. That is all.  GersonK: Three days later: "Hello. It's me again!" SunSinner: "You know, I'm the Savior You Savor." "You won't get a rise outta me, Tim."  Reynard_T_Fox: "Jimmy, we're worried about the people you're meeting on MyHamRadioSpace."  Artanas: "The hell happen to you Cosby" "Too many babys, too many women in the watchamapokeit" "Ah"  SunSinner: "Yes, I'm wearing relaxed fit jodhpurs now...Father Time hasn't been kind to my thighs." AgentQ: "I know you like to be comfortable when you're at home, but would it kill you to put on a pair of pants for the dinner guests?" "It WOULD kill me. How many times must I explain my pants allergy?"  Reynard_T_Fox: "Hello, Mr. Carville, dreadful weather, huh?" "It's the low pressure system, stupid!" "Ah yes, shall I getting tea ready?" "It's the Earl Grey, stupid!" "Ah yes...I hate you."  Hippie: Hey, you know someone missed the bowl in there? *pause* And it was number two. *pause* It was me, you know. *pause* Talk to me, goddammit! I just shit on your floor for attention! Artanas: "Hi ma'am, I'm Harry Connick Jr and... and you don't care. I get that a lot"  Reynard_T_Fox: "I want to tell you about ta great man, Billy. The Wichita Lineman. He died on a transformer for your sins." "Uh...could we just get to the molesting already?"  Hippie: Sorry, folks. We won't be needing the electricity after all. The Romans want to do this crucifixion old school. *I got up on a Sunday for this? Reynard_T_Fox: "Hey, I thought you died for our sins." "Well yeah, but uh, I got better." "Doesn't that sorta negate your sacrifice?" "Well, uh...LOOKADOWNEDLINE! *kapwing*"  GersonK: "Why, the Gorton's Fisherman! And they all laughed when I put that fish stick under my pillow!"  Reynard_T_Fox: And the Wichita Lineman...is still on the CROOOSSSSSSSS *lamentlamentlamentlalalalalamentlament*  GersonK: "You know Earl, maybe you should try bailing instead of peeing." |