 keogh: "It's cancer." "Dang it, Ed, it's not cancer. It's the creamed corn from lunch." "It's corncer." "Ed, that's not real. You made that up just now." |  Hippie: It's a different day out there, Percy... the world no longer needs The Peppermint Schnopps! *Respectfully, I disagree, sir! I think a trip to the Peppermint Pyramid would cheer master up! |  Generik: "Stripper-Gram with a special delivery miniature clown head for Mr. Stanley!" *sigh* "...Again?"  Hippie: My word, the newspaper contest I entered! We've won a free hideous live-in lackey! *Another? Where will we put him? *I guess he can bunk with Gordy. *Oh, yes, master! Please bunk him with me!  Seltaeb: Wow, even his fireplace has a bouncer. No Duraflames allowed!  HanoverF: Speed holes on a Plane! Hippie: "Planes on a Snake" was a very disappointing sequel. In addition to being boycotted by PETA and the Humane Society, it was over extremely quickly.  Generik: "Tremors felt in Nebraska. Looks like..." "No! You don't mean it!" "Yep. Shakes on a Plain."  Hippie: E.B. White was never as successful at the movies as he was the books. Charlotte the crime-solving spider was idiotic, and how they brought her back from the dead was ludicrous...  Jazzsoda: I still say those Ellis Island folks did him a solid by changing the family name from Van Deuchbag.  keogh: "Sssweet Jessuss, Larry, I can't do thisss." "Sssure you can, focusss. We're counting on you." "Dude, I don't have any armsss!"  Reynard_T_Fox: "Just calm down sir, please stop hissing at me. I'm going to talk you through this. Do you have your tail around the aileron control? Good, now strike at the landing gear switch.."  HanoverF: Nothing brightens up a room like used sanitary napkins  Reynard_T_Fox: Medusa's daughter, Cloe, had had it with those motherfucking snakes as her motherfucking hair.  Jazzsoda: "Say, what's Hobo for get off my lawn? Do they speak pellet gun?"  JediClone: Wonka Brand Wallpaper Cement didn't pan out quite as planned.... "Shnozzberry? *lick lick* whoever heard of a... I feel funny...*thud*"  Jazzsoda: I hate buying a whole box of Gotta Pee Monthly back issues at a garage sale only to discover most of them are missing half the centerfolds.  Hippie: Like my jacket? I had a matching hat, until Holden Caufield stole it. Yeah, so literary characters steal my clothes frequently. What about it? Generik: "...So then I'm heading up to Seattle tomorrow to see if I can hook up with some musicians up there and maybe get a good heroin habit going or something. Anyway, that's my presentation. Any questions?"  Jazzsoda: Wow, so when you yank out a kid's canines for getting a practice quiz answer wrong, he bleeds a sweater moose? I gotta start writing this shit down.  Reynard_T_Fox: International opinions of America at an all time low? Too bad, because LA LA LA AMERICA CAN'T HEAR YOU!  JediClone: Keep Your Tired And Your Disposessed. Give Me Your People Who Will Vote Democrat in November. And Get This Wiretap Out Of My Ass.  Hippie: Looks like lemonade died in a tragic accident of some sort.  Reynard_T_Fox: Emo Eddie was really going to leave his mark by slitting his wrists into the wet cement.  Hippie: For an additional twist ending, young Billy wakes out of his dream only to find out the lemonade stand was simply a wonderful dream, and he's actually dying of corncer.  Jazzsoda: Sure, an entire movie theater full of 1950's teens had to be bulldozed to make way for this monument, but thanks to this beautiful monument we will always remember the 200 teens slain that day.  ROBOTCROWT: Eye-On. Apply Directly to the Retina. Eye-On. Apply Directly to the Retina. Eye-On. Apply Directly to the Retina. Eye-On. |