 AgentQ: Tonight on Narcissus In The Year 3000... "My God, I am beautiful! Ever so fuckable, I am! And OH MY GOD THE ROLLER!" *squish* |
 Jazzsoda: Everyone was so worried about the radioactive diving board that nobody thought to question the complete lack of a pool. |
 AgentQ: "And if anyone has an objection to this marriage, let him speak now or... What's that, Animated Wax Statue That Is Melting From The Heat?" "I object! Glubglubglub..." |
 Meldrick: Until he got his powers under control, the Absorbing man couldn't enjoy whole wheat. |
 GuloGulo: "Every Inch of Ron Jeremy's Back" was a grueling cinematic experience. |
 Jazzsoda: Finally, time enough at last to soil herself in peace! But wait, she's out of wipes! Oh, the irony! |
 Reynard_T_Fox: Having sapped all the precious spinal fluid from Danny, the cherry tree retracts its limb and all is peaceful again. |
 AgentQ: Jack's attempt to look suave for Becky were destroyed by his arms, which were animated by Ray Harryhausen. |
 Reynard_T_Fox: "Agh! Die, Nazi!" *crunch* "Dave, that was a Shriner." "Shriner?" *back up* * crunch* |
 Jazzsoda: %Goin' to the mass grave, and we're gonna get maaaaaaiiiaaaiiairried... Goin' to the mass grave of love...% |
 AgentQ: "Yeah, yeah! I'm reading the shit out of this book!" |
 Meldrick: But the prosperity didn't last, once those letters started falling from the sky. |
 AgentQ: The latest fad in landscaping: people hedges. |
 Jazzsoda: A young Ted Kaczynski is constantly getting his mailbombs mixed up with Christmas packages for family members. On the upside, his Xmas shopping list gets shorter every year. |
 HanoverF: "Hi, I'm your Time Life Operator, Freddy Mercury." |
 Meldrick: "Well, Detective Barry, someone killed Frosty the Snowman, just as he was about to buy out the Good Humor Company. Got any leads?" |
 HanoverF: Who replaced my Boogie Bass with a Boogie Revolver, and why is my dog dead? |
AgentQ: "And Harvey Korman as Detective Check Rapier!" "Dude, it says TOM Conway." "Yes, I... shut up! You're ruining my cap!" "Flawed premise." "I'll kill you!" *violence* |
 Reynard_T_Fox: You've done it now, you've pissed off the guy with the Harryhausen hands, get ready for a slow and jerky beatdown! |
 AgentQ: After the Muppet Show ended, Stadler and Waldorf tried to make a living as pilots. They spent so much time looking out the windows for things to mock that they forgot to fly the plane. Thousands died. |
 Reynard_T_Fox: "Ya knowsk what dey calls a quoiter pounder in France?" |
 Jazzsoda: For all those about to rock their fuckin' complete breakfast, we salute you. |
 Reynard_T_Fox: "Them's the rules, Clancy, you lose at Rock, Paper, Scissors, Atomic Bomb, you sit on the end table." "Why can't I just sit on the other side of the couch?" "Them's the rules." |
 Jazzsoda: "Aw, sorry. Pussy beats two flaccid squids, looks like you're still on the endtable." "But that doesn't make any sense! What beats pussy?" "Shinebox." "Huh?" "Them's the rules." |
 WryBatty: Now Elmers comes in this Sippy-Cup. Start 'Em out young, I always say. |
Jazzsoda: "Sandwiches won't stay closed? Try new Elmer's Mustard, in the handy Pleaz-Squeez bottle." |
 AgentQ: Irritated with his reputation as a guy who'll fuck anything that moves, Tom decided to exclusively fuck things that didn't move. |
 AgentQ: And that was the last time Ron Snader was hired to do the school's yearbook photos. |
 TyranosaurisRex: Fred liked to show off by putting his Magic 8 Ball in his mouth at staff meetings. |
 TyranosaurisRex: "Try again later." |