Meldrick: This goatse stuff is worse than I imagined.	GersonK: And this is why most people never make it to 25th degree mason	Hippie: But all was not well at Asgard's first microbrewery...
AgentQ: Luigi once ate so much that, later that night, he shat out an entire village.	GersonK: The hills are alive.	Spazz: "It is NOT a TOUPEE, you knuckleheads. It's a CHALET!"
HanoverF: Looked like Quail to me	joe678: *Now* I know why Carnation's cows are so contented.	HanoverF: The scary thing is, this was in the 20's. Disney's robotic mouse army is now nano sized, plesant dreams copyright infringers!
Seltaeb: You have to realize that anybody can walk into Guiness World Records and claim that they have the world's runniest nose. We need proof! Now sit still...	Jazzsoda: The family remained transfixed as dad squeezed yet another newborn puppy out of his armpit. Not every parent avoids the "Birds and Bees" conversation with quite the same zeal, however...	AgentQ: "Can any of you guys help me out? This thing fell off the control panel and now my saucer can't move. I don't know how you fix that. Anyone? Anyone... who's not pointing a firearm at me?"
E_B_A: all over her face.	keogh: "Look, let's not oversell Natalie Portman..." "Impossible!"	E_B_A: AND WOULDN'T BUDGE UNTIL SOMEONE EXPLAINED ITS TAX RETURN TO IT AND WHY IT CAN'T CLAIM THE MOON AS A DEPENDANT...
joe678: o/' "Never a need to lift the seat, this ship's all full of men , men, men, (and one robot)..." o/'	AgentQ: Whoever thought it was a good idea to stick Michael Knight *and* KITT into Brundle's telepod at the same time was quickly promoted.	Hippie: "Hey! I asked for a BIG robot! I'm not signing for this!"
GersonK: Well, normally I don't like to brag...	Hippie: I hear they started fining networks $1,000 for saying the magic s-word.	keogh: "Now Gerson, I want you to promise no Ron Jeremy porn." "I promise nothing."
GersonK: o/~ With my spear and Anne Helmet. I will give you a Sampo! o/~	Hippie: The Gordons met and married on the set of this movie. It's hard to avoid intimacy with someone when you're sharing a dragon costume with them.	Jazzsoda: lloyd hill? Why do I want that to be a palindrome? Emordnilap a eb ot taht tnaw I od yhw? llih dyoll
Meldrick: Data doesn't think much of his 'upgrade.'	Hippie: Every night of masturbation raised another question of incest with them...	Jazzsoda: Suddenly Bill felt horrible about using the outhouse without checking first.
Reynard_T_Fox: *And* she flexes to get into those hard-to-reach spots!	HanoverF: Meanwhile on E_B_A's webcam...	Reynard_T_Fox: *crick* "Wow, I'm never getting into *that* hard-to-reach spot again..."
Seltaeb: Damn. Must've been one constipated bird he walked under...	E_B_A: "Why Sir Anus of Shitland Valley... can you explain the foul odor that has beset my kingdom?" "What odor do you speak of, your highness?"	Reynard_T_Fox: "I hit a jellyfish while out on my motorcycle today...you're not looking!"
keogh: "That tight piece'a ass follows you on tour?" "You know it." "You know that's Bea Arthur, right?" "Man, when she's hitting the pipe, SHE don't know she's Bea Arthur."	Reynard_T_Fox: The God of Jack Chick comics was secretly a transvestite. Don't tell Jack.	Seltaeb: The earliest known screen door. It kept out badgers, but that's about it.
Seltaeb: "His name is Clorox."	E_B_A: "Hey Ed... did you know that racehorses often get their testicles packed with hot pepper?" "Sleep with one eye open, Wilbur..."	Hippie: He's actually the only horse they'll allow in our country club! *Ba-dum-bum! *crash*
Meldrick: "Look a whole medievel fair up my sleve."	Seltaeb: "Yes, I have outfits that compliment any key that you can find on a pocket calculator!"	Hippie: Prince Alan was given another sword, and while it didn't turn him into a muscular barbarian, it took his mind off the fact he lived with his mom.
AgentQ: "At last! That bastard Sir Anus'll never know what hit him. Binko the Clown, you truly are the finest swordsmith in the land." "*HONK*"	LauraPowers: "You're not goin out like that, young man. Now put on a less revealing skirt. You're a McBeth. Not a whore."	E_B_A: "Wow! A secret floor opening to a large crawlspace!" "Yes... it's filled with magical talismans and wonderous sights." "I bet I could stash dead hookers in here!" "Er..."
E_B_A: "Hey Mom? You seen my right leg? I'm late for that ass-kicking contest!"	joe678: "You *all* lost your uniform trousers?" "Well, there was this castle full of gorgeous women with a grail-shaped beacon..."	Jazzsoda: Airport people-mover rolling floors actually date back hundreds of years, originally having been created for the king's great amusement. "I said approacheth, motherfuckers!"
AgentQ: Then the King tugged the royal carpet, and the sound of crashing armor echoed throughout the chamber. He did this EVERY FUCKING DAY, but the dukes could do nothing to dissuade him.	Seltaeb: "Yes, you'll make a great addition..."	AgentQ: "Distracted? No, no, it's nothing like that. I just... I just can't get over how many ethnic stereotypes you embody all at once."
GersonK: She wants to be the wenchiest wench that ever did wench her way through wenchood.	Seltaeb: Wolfman always air guitars when he hears Steve Miller. It's in his blood.	Hippie: Sgt. Papsmear's Lonely-Ass Medieval Fartsmellin' Band.

Back Index NEXT!