 E_B_A: *CAMERA PANS UP TO REVEAL JOHN MCCAIN* |  Occupant: No other notable accomplishments |  WEIRD_1: Camera adds 10 Lbs. Number of cameras on Tammy.. 5  HanoverF: The Magic of untucking your shirt. That'll be $39.95, Porky.  CrabofDoom: To wear under your white slacks! You know you do it! I know you do it. I laugh at you in the grocery store every time I see you.  HanoverF: Hold it, remeasure, she found more  Shanky: She spells her name just like Ozzy Osbourne pronounces it.  MonsterGoGo: "Emperor Palpatine himself will help custom fit every individual Body Shaper!" "Palpatine, I don't like your politics, but I love your sense of style!" "Geh heh, GEH HEH HEH!" JediClone: "The wormhole is localized between the hips and chest! Your waist never looked so structurally stablized!" "Wow! Slimularity™ really works!" <audience applaudes, shouts "EXCELSIOR!">  UnReality: "Will turn you into a homicidal killing machine as the Venom personality begins to dominate, but hey, folks, if that's the price of beauty -- am I right?!"  E_B_A: *INFOMERCIAL ENDS* GizM: "I stole this from Calista Flockhart. Sadly, she's still wearing it."  Reynard: "Hey, let's get our picture taken! *poses behind mannequin* Ohhh! I'm an underwear model! I just ate a pea, I feel so FAT!" *click* "This Victoria's Secret factory tour is great!"  E_B_A: She won't talk to me but I can wear her year round? This infomercial RULES.  Hippie: Considering "buldge" isn't a word, I anticipate you'll have a hard time arguing with the results.  MonsterGoGo: I'm Gomer Pyle's granddaughter and this here Body Bugaloo will sho'nuff kink out them fat vittle pockets all around ya! I guh'ran'tee ya'll.  CrabofDoom: *happy, successful, busy social life* After: "Hi! I'm white, and I say you're not skinny enough!"  Hippie: I'm going to go out on a limb and say these "after" shots are doctored.  Seltaeb: "Ha, we wouldn't put real electrodes on your nipples! You're on Totally Hidden Video!" GuloGulo: Laughing at fat people motivates them! Occupant: Retaining water! That's hilarious!  Shanky: My doctor says I swallow a lot of agression. As well as a lot of pizzas , I'll bet! CrabofDoom: "Haha! You'll never be as thin as me!" *girdle chooses strategic moment to explode* *resulting bulge pushes Blue Shirt out of frame*  JediClone: BEFORE <mechanical ratcheting sound> <sound of air compressor starting up> AFTER <Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade crowd goes wild>  AgentQ: Now let's meet Sandrea's sisters, Veronicathy, Sharhonda and Monicassie!  Jiveguy5: SHAPUARY!! SHAPUARY!!  Jazzsoda: Nothing convinces me of the value of a new product like watching people use said product who have absolutely no need or use for it.  Seltaeb: "Total eclipses of the heart are the #2 killer in the United States."  MonsterGoGo: "Do you enjoy ice cream? Really? That much? Well its ghost shit. There. Enjoy it now you happy fucks."  Seltaeb: ...that there's a spider on your back! BOO!  AgentQ: I'm afraid I must decline your offer of mashed potatoes and earthworms. "You forgot the gravy!" Still gotta decline. GuloGulo: Chromax: Better than two dicks stuck into a pile of mashed potatoes covered in chocolate. Catchy. E_B_A: Don't order the Tubgirl special. I promise you won't like it.  Hippie: As opposed to Grody to the Max (as pictured).  Seltaeb: Eat a bumper today!  Hippie: What if I've already got a Yeardley Smith? But it's free! No thanks, pal. That's how I ended up with the last one.  GuloGulo: Side effects may include mild dyslexia.  Reynard: I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT I'LL TAKE IT  Hippie: Living life to the max involves surgically removing your arms and getting a job at Circuit City. |
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