 Hippie: The Inspiring Story of One Dyslexic's Troubled Pursuit of a High School Equivalency Certificate. |  GuloGulo: Working title: Breeders Gone Wild. |  AgentQ: I don't know. I just feel like having a 24-hour channel devoted to following around a guy slowly recovering from a severe stroke is a bit exploitive.  JediClone: "Theese ees a pahleece-essuh glock. Dah mohst pawuhfahl hahndgun in dee hoal wauld-" "Uh... Wouldnt the most powerful handgun be a 44 magnum?" <Ahnold throws the glock.> <Ten people die.>  Hippie: ...and *I* say, Mr. Governor, that this is a nation built on immigrants. You yourself are an immigrant, are you not? *Governor thinks* *rips plumbing from floor, impales debate rival* You pipe down now, sir.  AgentQ: "There he is! Open fire!" "Take a bath." *unleashes torrent of water* *security guards all drown horribly* "Heh, 'take a bath'. De thing I hate is dat every time I make a funny, dey all die, so no one appreciates it."  Hippie: Joel Schumacher snuck into props last night just to nipple-up the bike.  GizM: Loot, warrant, crook. Good job, gumshoe.  Jiveguy5: You think you know....you have no idea...The game is just beginning...TETRIS!!! Coming this Summer!!! Directed by Michael Bay  JediClone: Because I hate those stupid motherfucking Garfield suction-cup dolls! THAT'S why!  Hippie: Ah cahn't do it alone, Greatest Ahmerican Hero. Ah need your help!  InsideOutMan: "Two things you need to know. I don't play fair and I don't pay fare." Jazzsoda: "Step onnit! I neehd to be layte lihk you needa hole inda head! Haha, you see what I did theya?" *Arnold shot the driver through the head after his last one-liner* *limo's still sitting in front of the airport*  UnReality: "Justice League! Nipple-up!"  AgentQ: *lobby explodes* "Jesus! I didn't even DO anything! Dis shit just happens around me! All de time!" *storms away furiously, buildings exploding all around him*  Hippie: Sir, I'm sorry. Let me say for the record that, had I known you were going to be bringing an android Vienna sausage as a date, we would have changed our hors d'ouerves menu. No, she has every right to be upset...  Shanky: Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as Red Auerbach in "Red Heat Auerbach"  Jazzsoda: *hooker slips on patch of pyramid guano*  GizM: 8  AgentQ: "Come in. Please, have a seat." "I'd... rather not. I really have a lot of work to do. I mean, a LOT of work. Could I come back some other time?" "Look, you're bothered by my massive raging erection. I understand." Reynard: "In closing, I think that the people of America should be ashamed at their rampant hurtful stereotyping of lawyers." *nibbles a block of cheese, "washes" face with hands*  Hippie: Killer party tape, Arnold! Any chance, though, you could work in some Radiohead next time? Like before the semi-automatic machinegun fire and after the blood-curdling yell of vengeance?  E_B_A: As Bob slowly began to slide through the shredder and into the wastebasket in little, bloody strips, he could only think to himself that he should remain calm and poised if he wanted the job interview to go smoothly.  Jazzsoda: "Dohnt mihnd da bonah, modehn aht always gets me excihted." "It's probably a good thing I can't understand a word you say. On a related note, I expect this is going to be a painfully long job interview."  E_B_A: "Before we complete this complex merger of these two enterprises, let me consummate this deal with our ever-so-important negotiation skill of breakdancing..." *BEGINS SERIES OF STIFF, PRACTICED ROBOT MOVES*  Shanky: *It's our worst nightmare: A zombiefied Peter Brady* o/' When it's time to change , then it's time to eat brains...o/'  Jiveguy5: "Like it?... yeah it's by what's that broads name...O'Keefe...It's called Pringles in Autumn...There's the vagina in case ya missed it..."  Shanky: o/' Did you ever know that you're my hero?...o/' Hey Bette! Did you ever know that you suck?!
 AgentQ: "Got you! Boy, is your face red!" Even Arnold's fun little pranks had a death toll.  WEIRD_1: I hate it when I get the flesh of someone in my teeth  AgentQ: "Dis is what I think of your no-return policy!" *grabs mannequin* *flings it through window* "Dere! Return DAT!" "Sir, that quip doesn't even make sense." "Sense is not a requirement for my quips!"  CrabofDoom: While negotiations drag on into day three, the pictures stop giving a fuck and play Pong amongst themselves.  E_B_A: "We've got to swing by and pick up Governor Ventura... somehow, a Predator has been elected governor of New Hampshire and is now hunting governors for sport." "Ah new dis vould happun."  GizM: and Pizza Delivery  MonsterGoGo: Blind D was probably the most famous thief-who wore two eye-patches-that ever lived. *flips up eye-patch, thieving tools come out* "Whoa! What's behind the other one?" *a tiny cannon rolls out and shoots confetti*  Zoogicub: "I love you Pumpkin." "I love you honeybunny." *stands up on the table* "OKAY, EVERYBODY BE COOL, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"  UnReality: Has seen plenty of poems lovelier than a tree. The one about that limber fellow from Nantucket, for instance...  GizM: *Eagles' "Peaceful Easy Feeling" plays awkwardly over radio  AgentQ: *runs over ninjas all the way to work* "I hate my life."
*parks car in front of office building, which explodes*
*goes to get back in car, but car bomb blows it up first*
 Jazzsoda: Man, I hate it when your NES gets old and you have to blow the dust and crumbs and junk of the game cartridge every time you put one in. *huffs, puffs* *crusty old bastard still hanging on*  soth: That's not rain. That's an Ahnold sneeze. HanoverF: Holy shit, a gremlin! Holy shit that means... There's a Shatner on the Wing of the Plane!!!  MonsterGoGo: "But V'HY!?" "Because it's illegal to let you use Mexico City as a 'living shooting simulator'. It's illegal, unethical, and they wanted more money." "V'HY!?" "I dunno! Why does my son dress up like a nurse? DUNNO!"  Jiveguy5: "PU-SHIT!!! PU-SHIT!!!" "Great now I crapped my pants happy now!"  E_B_A: "I'm going to walk again, if only so I no longer have to listen to the whiny nasal shrill of Rosie Perez over there..." "Yoooo awwww riiiiide McGavinnnnnn?" *DANCES JIG* |
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