 Reynard: I'll never understand this damned tennis scoring system. |  E_B_A: Then Jesus took out his light saber and cut open the TaunTaun. |  Occupant: Well, for one thing, Lent is almost over and we can all get back to masturbating.  Seltaeb: "You haven't got shit all over yourself." AgentQ: I am a king of rock. Look upon my wild metal hair and fear me. I am impressed by the way your golden locks flow forth from your crown. Thank you. You're welcome. *king air-guitars in response*  InsideOutMan: "And still I don't have a date for the prom."  Jazzsoda: The "B" sticks on Gibson's keyboard, but everyone's too scared of him going batshit to say anything. JediClone: "... but of course you realize that the whole 'carpenter' thing is most likely based on ancient mistranslations of an Aremaic word for 'day laborer'..." <table falls apart> <Western Civilization falls apart>  CrabofDoom: "Upon the fourth chalice of mead will thy reluctance to experiment disappear..." Jazzsoda: Seriously? Let me try this: CANDYMAN! CANDYMAN! CANDYMA- *eaten by Jesus* Occupant: Will not! Will too! Will not! Will too! Will not! AHA!  Reynard: "Seeeymoouuuurr..." *dies*  HanoverF: Mel certainly knows his audience.  Jazzsoda: "Caesar knows who's been naughty and nice, Claudia." "That's Santa Claus." "Seriously? Who brings presents?" "Santa." "Damn, what about the cole slaw?" "That's Caesar." "Oh, right."  Jazzsoda: "Santa did?" "Yep." "That doesn't sound like Santa, Bill." "Really? Okay, maybe it was Caesar. Who's the one with the belly like a bowl full of jelly?" "Mostly Santa." "I think I like Santa better." "Me too."  CrabofDoom: Mel's vision included Larry the Vestal Virgin?  Generik: Make him a gardener? A fry cook? A bus boy? Because all the guys *I know* named Jesus do those jobs and a whole lot more. Hard-working motherfuckers, every last one of them. All of them deserving of a raise.  Hippie: Journalist of Nazareth.  Occupant: The Vin Diesel Appreciation Society don't take nothin' from nobody!  Seltaeb: "I saw him in a drain about an hour ago."  Hippie: This must be the TBS version, with all the "fucking"'s taken out. Notice they still left in the brutality.  Shifter: Dude, I didn't even think of beating him with one of those! You are awesome!  CrabofDoom: How sad. All of this could've been avoided if only the town had a burger joint so they could have a change from pizza all the time...  HanoverF: Well we can't really read what you're saying when you move around on the sand like that.  CrabofDoom: "I swear I'll mow the lawn every Saturday forever if you'll just smite these assholes right now..."  Occupant: I tell ya, Saul, after this line, the rollercoaster better be a fucking religious experience! Jazzsoda: *Mario trots through with a sledgehammer, sledgehammering the living shit out of everyone while screaming "I CAN'T MAKE IT STOP!"*  Seltaeb: Did anyone really think adding Jesus as an unlockable character in Street Fighter IV was a good idea?  HanoverF: "Hold this for me, will you. Ha, I love that joke."  Spock-up Pet: "Look, Jesus, if you need help moving Saturday, just say so."  HanoverF: "Fuck! I didn't think of that. Well it's too late now, I need to clap my hands to use my powers. It's a whole Elizabeth Montgomery thing, don't ask."  Jazzsoda: "I mean, what the fuck do I care? I'M BEING FUCKING CRUCIFIED! What're you gonna do, climb up on a ladder and punch me in the balls? Condemn away, Mr Judgmental."  TravisBickle: Mooooom, can't you let me do one thing on my own? Sheesh! |
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