 Reynard: "You were out in the field, Jane, what was the general mood there?" *silence* "Forgive me folks, Jane can be a bit shy sometimes." |  HanoverF: This infomerical is gonna get awesome once he accidentally turns on that double lightsaber. |  Reynard: "Yo air! Yo momma's nitrogen content so high, people get head rushes off it!"  Agent_Moldy: "Just like my vagina!" *wink-wink*  UnReality: "EdenPURE has become self-aware."  CrabofDoom: Is it really so hard to just tell your kids not to play on the goddamn heater...?  Reynard: "Come on, Heaterbot, let's get you home. I think you've had enough sterno for one night." *HEATERBOT WILL TELL YOU WHEN HEATERBOT HAS CONSUMED OPTIMAL QUANTITY* *belches flames*  Shifter: For those who can't read it: Effin FURY gymnastics arms full fruit gyrating maggots and manicures  HanoverF: "Once you order your personal pizza stone fire oven you'll wonder how you ever lived without-" *stumbles into electrified infomerical host zapper* Bout damn time. That was a juicy one.  Hippie: So does my uncle, but he blames it on the dog.  GizM: *Wind whips woman's wig off *Two hosts now virtually indistinguishable  Shifter: And yea, though I shall walk through the Valley of the Uncanny, I shall fear no Real Doll...  Hippie: Remember the good old days when your balls didn't smack back and forth between your knees? Okay, Reg, we're going to need you to read the script as written...  UnReality: "They called me an old pussy for liking this music. I prefer to think of myself as a nostalgina."  Reynard: "Sure, those days may be over now. Those artists may all be dead. And there may never have actually been such a thing as a 'malt shop'. *awkward pause* But have we got a collection for you!"  GizM: I'm Stuck on a Raft BARBARA LEWIS
Would You Help Me
Message In A Bottle
 holenozone: I used to be a Soda Jerk, no wait, I used to be a Jerk that drank sodas. Sorry I have Malt Shop Alzheimers.  AgentQ: Welcome To The Terrordome FRANKIE VALLI AND THE FOUR SEASONS I'm starting to think this infomercial didn't undergo rigorous fact checking. AgentQ: "Gosh, remember how we all used to gather around, listen to the great hits on the jukebox, and complain about all the niggers overrunning the neighborhood? Good old days my ass. Niggers everywhere!" *color bars*  GizM: Mathnet reunion keogh: "So tell us about your malt-shop memories." (silence) "Not to be indelicate, but...you were around in the 50s, yes?" (couple exchange look) "Work with me here, people." (couple mutter confusedly in Dutch)  Shifter: "Aw, Hell, kid, stand back and let me show you how real deep throating gets done!"  Hippie: Eventually, Marcie Blane eclipsed Bobby and no longer had to advertise her performances that way. Bobby was pretty pissed when she didn't want him standing on the stage, arms crossed, nodding his head anymore, too.  Shifter: Son of Sam THE TOKENS
No, Seriously, That's Son of Sam
He's Fucking Standing Right There
 AgentQ: Jesus Christ Help Me I Have A Golf Ball Lodged In My Mouth And I Am Choking To Death JAMIE FOXX
How Can I Hear You If There's A Golf Ball Lodged In Your Mouth
I Have The Power Of Telepathy
 JediClone: Please Make The Voices Stop LITTLE ANTHONY & THE IMPERIALS
Blood! Blood, Mother! Blood!
 Jazzsoda: *gets Eddie Money's back in the mail*
*shrugs, makes some bacon* |
| 
| 
|