 Soozcat: At this point, critics agree, the Karate Kid franchise had not only jumped the shark, but had returned to flirt, date, seduce and marry it. | Agent_Moldy: Starring Rowlf Macchio |  Reynard: "Death to the Great Satan! What? Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was Karachi Dog." Occupant: o/' I will survive! I will survive! As long as I know how to love I know I'm still alive! No, that's Karaoke Dog!  Soozcat: Jilted by a dog. Man. Well, there's always Judge Judy. Jazzsoda: The table just had a great idea about how to finally get all its legs the same length.  Reynard: All those cracks about Larry being "The Wide Blue Line" had just gone too far.  GodoHell: *plate of spaghetti arrives* *human nudges meatball to dog with his nose*  Reynard: See, the dog only does karate when he's alone with the guy. It's just like that classic cartoon. Only with a dog. And karate. And it's live action. And 90 minutes long.  AgentQ: "When I look deep into the ocean of your eyes, I see something vital in you, and yet something as old as time itself." "WOOF!"  HanoverF: "Don't look at me like that, you're the one who swallowed my iPod." *punches dog in stomach* ♪ She's got legs... ♪  JediClone: "Connect the dogs! Lallalala! Connect the dogs! Lalalala!"  AgentQ: "Senator Palpatine." "Yyyyyyyeesssss?" "The rebels have found a new force to use against the Imperial army." "Yyyyyyeessss?" "It's a dog that knows karate." "Oh, shit! Right, close down the Empire. We're done."  Jazzsoda: "Okay dad, first the good news: Your painstakingly restored '67 Chevy convertible? I flushed the radiator for you."  Soozcat: Sorry, the princess is in another supply room.  Agent_Moldy: No longer sated by Subway sandwiches, Jared now wanders the streets at all hours, searching for anything he can get ahold of to slake his hunger. A bird... small child...  JediClone: "Not tonight, honey. I have a heartworm"  Reynard: *looks around* *bicycle stops* *resumes walking* *bicycle follows him again* *POUNCE* *GRINNND* *RAPID-FIRE PEDAL SLAPS*  Agent_Moldy: ♪ Goodbye, Michael Vick You stupid little dog-killin' prick Betty White's gonna kick your ass Then feed you to a whale...♪ Somehow, I just don't think Elton John is trying, anymore.  Jazzsoda: ♪ Love in an elevator maintenance closet! Goin' at it on the table while we're repairing cables! ♪ Aerosmith Yet Again failed to go platinum.  Reynard_T_Fox: "Chief, once you're done strangling that clown with his rainbow suspenders, could we hear some more details on the Jensen murder case?"  Generik: I don't see the "Run screaming from the room tearing your eyeballs out of their sockets" option.  GodoHell: Nice try, Sly, but standing next to wood doesn't make your acting any less wooden.  Reynard: "This regime will not tolerate these sanctions on dessert items!" "Honey, Mommy's too tired to recognize your sovereignty right now."  Agent_Moldy: "I'm Robert Loggia. That's 'R' as in Robert Loggia, 'O' as in, 'Oh my God, it's Robert Loggia! 'B' as in, 'By God, that's Robert Loggia! 'E' as in, 'Everybody loves Robert Loggia!..."  echostation: "You eated my cookie?"  Agent_Moldy: Sly just couldn't believe his ears when he heard the prize for winning the arm wrestling competition would be this lovely bouquet. Nothing was going to keep him from his dream of being a champion now!  HanoverF: Cute, they're making fallout angels  bosko: Boy his dad is strict, when I was caught masturbating, I just got scolded  HanoverF: "This damn videogame perpetuates negative Italian stereotypes! Hey Tony, stop beating your wife and take a look at this fucking thing!"  Jazzsoda: The scene at the vet in Karate Dog is definitely the weirdest part of the movie: "♪ Whether you're a Yorkie or even if you're porky I'm spaying at five! Spaying at five! A-ah-ah-ah spaying at fiiii-iii-iiiive!"  Reynard: If Stallone can sink this 20-foot putt, he'll be kicked out of the cemetary.  Jazzsoda: "We’re going to Raping Waters! Yaaaay!" "RAGING." "We’re raging to Raping Waters?" "Just drive the goddamned truck."  HanoverF: "I can smell your cunt."  Jazzsoda: *Stallone walks straight through the gate like T-1000* *Stallone falls apart like an egg pushed through an egg slicer*  Reynard_T_Fox: Stallone's less-talked about technique involved giving his opponent a footjob under the table. After all, if the ref doesn't see it, it doesn't happen, and the ref learned his lesson the first time he peeked. |
| 
| 
|