JoeAnthrax:
"This new bidet is heavenly, why didn't I hear about this before?"
"It's the children's drinking fountain, honey..."
| 
Agent_Moldy:
"Whatchoo jestin' 'bout, Willis?"
(Throwing rotten tomatoes at myself for this one.)
JediClone:
He flosses with the entrails of the last court jester.
Comedy is a rough business.
| 
CrabofDoom:
"Dost thee have any wands?"
"Avast and angle, knave."
| 
JediClone:
The T-1000 lifts up from the tile floor, forms itself into a perfect replica of Cyrano de Bergerac, and skewers the original's brain with a razor-sharp metalic nose.
HanoverF:
*Flashes Minelli's*
*Shooting halted due to crew blindness*
|
Jazzsoda:
"Oh, I think you will find room for me in the VIP lounge."
*breasts flop out*
"Wow! Well, from the sound of things I think the entire lounge just cleared out. I have to assume so, however, seeing as how I'm now blind."
| 
Generik:
He loves his toupee so much he can't bear to actually put it up on his head where he can't see it without a mirror.
Reynard_T_Fox:
"I say, what is the story behind that striking bobble atop your chapeau?" "I'm from the Great White North, eh?"
| 
GersonK:
I don't think using moldy bread will kill The Amazing Colossal Bumstead
| 
E_B_A:
I thought Liza couldn't get any stranger.
Well, I THOUGHT that.
Then her antlers grew out.
HanoverF:
.oO(Did I remember to take my pre-sleeping pill sleeping pill?)
| 
Jazzsoda:
Wow, so is it a coincidence that Minnelli's hairstylist's last name sounds like somebody throwing up?
| 
JediClone:
"What? Me stalk?"
E_B_A:
"Something doesn't feel right... it says 'Hipsode's Caption Crack' up there but... hmmm... I feel like I should be wearing a hat and out searching for mutated sea bass or something."
"You okay, Dad?"
"Not sure..."
| 
Jazzsoda:
No matter how many French people I kill, I can't get that goddamned "Ca Plane Pour Moi" song out of my head.
| 
CaveDweller:
A young Roseanne is seen here making "snow elephants".
HanoverF:
"Should I buy him that toy gun he wants? What do you think Counterfeit Money Bot?
*roll of $50 bills pour out*
"You're right, I should go to the track."
| 
E_B_A:
"Here's the problem... you set 'Liza's Breast Exposure' on 'High.' I think you wanted 'In Another Room Covered with Fifteen Wool Blankets and a layer or Quikrete.'"
| 
UnReality:
"Teacher's got a lot of junk in her drawers."
"She's got a pretty big ass, too."
Reynard_T_Fox:
"That god-damned hack they got now...look at this: Senator Caught Accepting Illegal Donations? Yaw-AWN!"
|
HanoverF:
"Not even one mention of Yeti attacks, you know I have half a mind to cancel the neighbors subscription to this rag."
| 
GersonK:
"But I scared off that Weregoat by doing the robot like this..." "Mooooom! Make him stop!"
UnReality:
"Now, of course, they have to travel in a coffin with some of the dirt from their home, so --"
"Moooommmm!"
| 
JediClone:
Looks like the dog-shaped lamp has a new best friend!
| 
Occupant:
I want an official Red Ryder Penis Extender!
You'll put your eye out, kid.
I'm willing to risk it.
JediClone:
I'd like to point out that there really is someone who makes replicas of that lamp, and he used the money to buy the house this movie was filmed in.
The moral of the story is: I'm glad I'm not him.
| 
Loodvig:
"Here's your Mick Jagger lip balm back..."
|
echostation:
"It's a sponge dipped in my menstrual blood. Here, taste."
Reynard_T_Fox:
"I tell ya, Lois, Tesla technology is the wave of the future." *crackle* *snap* *everyone's hair stands on end* *radio picks up Moscow station*
| 
HanoverF:
Finally all the years of hard work on Charles Atlas tongue exercises had paid off
| 
Occupant:
We warned you about masturbating in church . . . and school . . . and Aunt Muriel's . . . and the movies . . . and . . . and . . .
Wrigley Field
. . . and Wrigley Field.
HanoverF:
*Hastily decodes message,
reads*
"No Message This Week Kids, Annie's on the Rag
Nuts."
|
JediClone:
"H...A...R...R...Y... P... O... T... T... E... R... D... I... E... S... shit!"
| 
UnReality:
"Remember when you used to stalk ME, Carl?"
bosko:
You might be a red neck if you use your little brother as a garbage disposal
| 
echostation:
*snaps neck*
| 
HanoverF:
*Drowns in mashed potatoes*
See See what you get for not clearing your plate? Don't fuck with Wonka
WB:
I hate my Conan O'Brien hat!
| 
Occupant:
Have you ever seen a right jolly old elf naked?
|
GersonK:
"Then I popped him two in the neck like this. BANG! BANG! Last time any elf asked for a health plan." "On second thought, I have enough toys already."
Reynard_T_Fox:
"Now see boys, isn't this Daddy Lamp a MUCH more wholesome addition to our living room?" "*choked back sobs* Yes...Mom."
| 
HanoverF:
He sold his sex drive to buy her a chastity belt, and she sold her body below the waist to buy him Viagra. Merry Fucking Xmas
| 
CaveDweller:
"Um...Carl....do you notice where I have a bow? Care to unwrap THIS package????"
"Yeah, yeah....I'll get to that! Hey look, Tony gave me a football phone!"
WB:
Cough.
| 
Reynard_T_Fox:
"Wow, a light saber!" "Careful Randy you'll put your-" *VWUM* "...head off. Oh dear."
| 
echostation:
Donnie Darko makes so much more sense now.
JediClone:
After Christmas, Ralphie left the suit alone in a closet wih his brother's bunny-slippers.
On Easter Morning, he opened the closet and there was a whole wardorbe in there.
| 
Agent_Moldy:
The Energizer Bunny is back! And this time, Carl's not letting him escape.
| 
echostation:
"Holy Shit a brick there's a pink chupacabra on our staircase!"
JediClone:
o/' Ralphie's got a gun/ Ralphie's got a gun/ Now his retina's come undone...
| 
GodoHell:
Jim Henson's Slaughterhouse Five Babies
| 
JediClone:
Ralph Parker will return IN "A Hanukkah
Happenstance"!
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | 
