 Occupant: If I can't sell you a bug, I'll eat a used car! |  E_B_A: Looks like the helpful text in the upper left is getting Mike Tyson through this casual first date without incident. Let's shake things up a bit as Ike Turner steps in at the keyboard... |  AgentQ: The emoticon for "I feel like I have four tits" rarely saw use outside of this infomercial.  Dairai: Come on. PigDiddler Combs wouldn't wipe his ass with anything less than a hundred.  Reynard_T_Fox: "With prices like these, you might think we're crazy! Well lemme tell ya, I cut off my hands and replaced them with whisk brooms! So I ask thee: Who's the president NOW?!"  Dairai: "We've got Pontiac Fuglies! Scion Shitboxes! Actual boxes! On skateboards! Are you questioning your culture?! ARE YOU?!"  GersonK: Fitneils magazine. Find out just how healthy Neil Pert is. HanoverF: Johnny Depp is stacked! No wonder Pirates 3 made so much money  Occupant: Get nowhere  AgentQ: "So, how does it work?" "You ride it just like a bicycle!" "And, um, how does that work?" "Well, Sue, you just put your feet on the pedals and..." "... And?" "You really have no idea how to ride a bike?" "I... *sobs*"  HanoverF: Where did the fatass find a centrifuge big enough?  GersonK: Except for you, Terry. You're dirt. AgentQ: But you have to be white. We are not flexible on this point.  Reynard_T_Fox: And the best part is it collects all your sweat so you can bottle it up afterwards and...um...is this really the best part?  HanoverF: Laugh all you want, this setup is totally sweet for watching the ending of E.T. Thats pretty much it tho, hope you love the last ten minutes of E.T.  Jazzsoda: Since when is it "Spinning"? Is this generation too cool for "riding a fucking bike"? Oh, sorry tubby. Yeah, your vacation slides from your visit to Pee Wee's Playhouse are fantastic. Way to sit.  E_B_A: "And hey! It's our lovable pal, Seaty! Say hi to everyone at home, Seaty!" "Go away... you keep sniffing me, you sicko." "No, Seaty! Be nice!"  Reynard_T_Fox: "Winning the Me Award was just such a thrill. To have Me on my mantle...it's a tribute to all my hard work."  keogh: Lessee...spinning...bug arming? Ku-Kluxing? Ruining? The hell?  E_B_A: It's never been easier to lose weight! Or destroy churches!  Dairai: "I can wait as long as it takes, cappers. Go on with your little chatting. That's it. When you get around to shutting your traps, there's a whole ascot of whoopass waiting for you..."  Reynard_T_Fox: Page boy! Hie thee to the bar and fetcheth a mug o' ale, forthwith!  Jazzsoda: "Didja see it??" "There... there was a ghost?" "FINE. I'll rewind it! *zwwww* THERE! RIGHT FUCKING THERE!" "The dot or the smudge?" "You asshole! That smudge is my girlfriend!"  AgentQ: "I sense a disturbance." "*scribbling* The psychic senses a disturbance." "As though a million voices cried out and were silenced." *woman starts scribbling, stops, throws down pen and clipboard, walks out*  E_B_A: "Mom! Tommy's on my side of the tombstone!" "Am not!" "There's a line right here! I told you not to cross it!" "I'm gonna pull this tombstone over and none of us will get to see the river Styx!" "Awww!"  JediClone: I have a remote control for that. What do I need your stupid book for? *click* Jazzsoda: These things sell like hotcakes in England. See... cuz they have this waterway that separates them from... you see what I did there?  E_B_A: What a job title. Kind of like being a Administrative Passionate or a Head of Human Resources Flatulent.  GersonK: None of it from women  Jazzsoda: "I'm not picking up shit." "Did you expect to... on a walkman?" "I guess not." "What's that other thing?" "Nothing." "What is it?" *mumbles* "You thought my DayPlanner was a Bible?"  AgentQ: Before he played Willie on ALF, Willie on ALF starred in Lockdown, a sitcom about a prison warden who has to deal with wacky prisoners. The credits said "WILLIE ON ALF as WARDEN KOMISKI."  GersonK: Chicago, US, 60 miles south of Canada City.  Jazzsoda: I hate it when my dead relatives are referred to as the "cemetery's shame." Look, just because you've got money to throw around actually burying your dead doesn't give you the right to make us feel bad about ourselves.  Reynard_T_Fox: "This investigation's going sweet! High five, Bloody Mary!"  Dairai: "Okay, I'm getting something... your mother was from the Rio Grande? She... danced on the sand? On the beach? Throw me a bone here..."  Reynard_T_Fox: "We didn't detect any paranormal activity the first day, but-" "LENIN SPEAKS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE! THE CAPITALIST HEGEMONY MUST CRUMBLE!" "-we're uh...optimistic. Did anyone hear something? Never mind. Anyway...  HanoverF: How do we know thats a ghost saying yes? Who else would leave me a phone message? Point-set-match  GersonK: "Who's your librarian now, bitches?"  Jazzsoda: "The sun has a message for me? *spelling* I know where you live? Well no shit, you're the sun! *spelling* No scoops for you! Dude, I don't even like raisins! Is there anybody else there I can talk to?"  Jazzsoda: "Check it, home slice, I got nerves of steel!" "No, no you don't." "Buns of steel?" "Nope." "Kidney stones... of steel?" "If I say yes, will you leave?" "...yeah."  E_B_A: "Turns out the morons at Customs booth thought a necklace of human ears was not something I could bring back from 'Nam. Fucking assholes!"  Jazzsoda: "See, Hitchcock and Paul Reubens are eating this egg guy, what's the egg dude called who fell off the wall? Anyway, I drew three of them, and here's baby Lecter, and I punched some holes to hold my brushes and stuff..." |
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