 Seltaeb: How many lime green spheres can you find in this picture? |  Reynard_T_Fox: "Your name's Gary?" "Gheri." "What kind of parents would name their daughter Gary?" "It's Gheri." "Whatever you say, Gary." |  Hippie: Even her custom-designed wallpaper didn't help her live out her fantasy of being center square. Oh, if only she could be Jim J. Bullock to control the board!  Reynard_T_Fox: "You know what? I'm happy."  HanoverF: "I like my couch as a couch, but all the flowers and flirting I think its time to give it the brush off."  AgentQ: "And there were lots of lingerie chicks there to see Rocky Horror." "Interesting." " The upside, lingerie chicks. The downside, they're into Rocky Horror. I can never find the right combination, you know?"  Hippie: And then, without warning, a key structural support gave way inside Pete. It's almost as bad as that load-bearing wall in his ass that someone drove into last year.  AgentQ: "HAAGH." "Yup. That's why I married you. Your eloquence." "YEAAAHHUUGH."  Hippie: If you have more than four children, ask for our special group rate. You'll be pleasantly surprised when they combine their transformations to form Voltron!  AgentQ: Ensuring that your child is more than meets the eye.  Generik: "So you can really turn my child's behavior into a super-fast, really loud motorcycle? Because I would be totally down with that."  Reynard_T_Fox: "And if they start actin' up, why you just give 'em a good frowning. Like this. Nnnnngh."  Generik: Have you seen this child's behavior? Call now, 1-800- TOO-LATE.  Hippie: *slap* *woman storms off camera* *No, Cynthiarella, come back! Oh, *sigh*... some day I'll find the owner of this glass dildo and we'll be wed!  HanoverF: "I think I got your setting by accident, I know I didn't set my comfort level to frigid bitch." 'Oh is that why mine is on the impotent midget setting?'  Reynard_T_Fox: Verbing words successes our sales!  HanoverF: Pretends it doesn't want to eat you  AgentQ: Winner of the Most Unnatural Sleeping Position contest, 1997 and 1999.  HanoverF: Uncomfortable for whom? Brando or the poor bed?  Hippie: Warning: Men may expect some Bruno Kirbying after long-term use of the Sleep Solution. Women can expect a 30% Tina Feying, but at least you'll have the Bruno Kirby guy to make fun of with your new sense of humor.  HanoverF: This will be just between you and Sleep Number, the shower head need not know.  Hippie: Caution: The Sleep Solution is also highly judgmental. If you bring home Uncle Fester after a night of hard drinking, your bed may not allow you to wake just to spare your dignity.  Reynard_T_Fox: o/ I! Can't sleep! FIFTY-FIIIIIVE!  Hippie: Comforted By a Nude Kirk Cameron had to be a Vertigo series, of course, for all the graphic depiction of bare-naked Christian consolation.  Reynard_T_Fox: "Escape? Hee hee hee...you don't have the CHIN!"  HanoverF: "You know how hard it is to order delivery with a name like Cocknose Ballchin?"  Seltaeb: They had to tie an orange safety ribbon around the wooden indian's schlong so people wouldn't get stabbed by it.  JediClone: Just found out his house was built over a little-blonde-girl graveyard.  Hippie: Welcome to my trophy room. It was pretty dull in here before I started hunting inanimate objects. I started small, with toffees and jawbreakers, then worked my way up to a whole box of wrenches.  Reynard_T_Fox: "Let go, Emma. I will not have any man impugning the dryness of my goods."  Hippie: And do you recognize this voice, Indy? *No time for love, Dr. Jones! *Why, it's my old sidekick pal, Short Round! Wow, Shorty, it's great to-- *Indy shudders* AgentQ: "Oh my God, I just realized! We were supposed to put price tags on these goods, and charge people money for them!" "Oh. My God."  Hippie: George takes care of all his customers. Why, just the other day a man came in needing six inches of right leg, and George was quick to oblige. Reynard_T_Fox: One set of overalls apparently isn't enough for overing his all.  Seltaeb: This is what happens when you constantly peel your hangnails.  Hippie: MOMMY!!! There's an Indian sleeping in my bed! *That's Native American, dear. *Um... there's a Native American sleeping in my bed. *So what, dear? We should displace the poor man again? Insensitive little shit. |
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