 ArchHallJr: "The diamond is coming along just fine, fuck you very much." |  Meldrick: "My neck/my back" |  Reynard_T_Fox: "Siddown kid or I'll give ya an 'amen' upside the head" This week on Goomba Gospel  AgentQ: "Here, let me show you how the new electric tooth shaver works."  ArchHallJr: "The water done healed me of my dehydration! It's a miracle!"  Reynard_T_Fox: "But Peter, it's just Colgate with your 'spring water' sign taped over it." "Cleans and whitens! It's a miracle!"  AgentQ: "What? There's no number on the screen? BAM! There you go! Hallelujah!" ArchHallJr: "Buy the water or I swear to fucking Christ you're going to hell!"  kilroy105: "I tried Miracle Spring Water once and got my Spice addiction totally licked!"  Seltaeb: FINISH HER!!!  kilroy105: "The power of Christ compels you! *JAB!* The power of Christ compels you! *RIGHT CROSS!* The power of Christ compels you! *STEEL CHAIR!*"  Meldrick: "The Water has revived me! Now I will fight Ron Jeremy to the death!"  Reynard_T_Fox: Suddenly Ed from the Barenaked Ladies grabbed the mic and started freestyling, and the informercial was thrown into horrible chaos.  ArchHallJr: "Praised be Jesus! Now you'll live another 4 months!"  HanoverF: Just ask his chosen people, the Jews  Jazzsoda: "I'm not fucking kidding! GOD HIMSELF pissed out this shit! What? Are you too good to drink God's lukewarm, salty piss? Where are you people going?"  Seltaeb: "Go on. Pull it. PULL IT!!" *frpp* "IT'S A MIRACLE!!!"  Reynard_T_Fox: Seriously. Does no one in his audience see him having to struggle to supress his demonic aspect every fifth grab or so?  Reynard_T_Fox: "I am in need of healing, Reverend." "Don't worry, the Lord Jesus will smite that unholy mole off your chin if you beLIEVE!" "What?! I'm talking about my diabetes, this is a beauty mark, fuckface."  AgentQ: The P9OX fitness instruction android is programmed to say three different phrases: "And 1 and 2," "Now the other side," and "People, people, people! Please, let's get serious!"  Reynard_T_Fox: The Danzafier 3000 Really Works!  Seltaeb: By Day 180, her stomach could be used as a gravy boat.  Jazzsoda: "Guys, I don't think the fire sprinklers were meant for tha-" *CRKK* *PSSSSHHHHHHHH* "You fucking meatheads! You're gonna get some killer definition bailing water now, grab a bucket!"  AgentQ: "I used to be plain and average, but by day 90, I was so totally ripped that I was even checking myself out."  Jazzsoda: Jesus. This chick revolves slower than Jupiter.  Seltaeb: The Johnny Rotten Workout?  HanoverF: Got blow'd up in Nam and had his skull replaced with a pasta strainer  AgentQ: Christ. When he said he worships the ground she walks on, he meant it literally.  kilroy105: Whatcha gonna do... when MobyMania runs wiiiiiiild on you?  AgentQ: Develop your body to the point that people can see a terrifying grinning moustachioed face resembling the creepy Burger King mask if you flex just right! Or is that just me? |
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