 E_B_A: Only later, when he needed to type, did Carl realize his nail biting had gotten out of control. |  HanoverF: Why is it Kolchaks dreams of success always include a moat of Aqua Velva? |  Seltaeb: "Put down $200 on #12! I'm feeling lucky!" "Carl, that's the bus schedule." "Okay, $300!"  Hippie: I'm out of hors d'uerves? YOU'RE out of hors d'uerves! The whole damned place-- *Carl, is this your first party or what?  E_B_A: "Actually you're not going to make it. Love is not around you so you can't take it. You're not going to make it after all. Now shut up and let me drive, bitch..."  Meldrick: Once they switched to planes the Blue Angels literally took off.  Jazzsoda: When he pulls the trigger, the gun's jaw opens and it makes dolphin sounds that really cause criminals to stop and think about what they're doing with their lives.  Meldrick: Now the cops will always be able to find their car, after painting 'owrs' on the side.  Jazzsoda: "But I thought I had some packets of Arby's sauce in here!" *cross traffic flys by at blinding speed* "And who pinched my Fire sauce?" *pedestrials cartwheel overhead*  HanoverF: Everyone has his price, Brian Posehn is just under a buck, but he won't make change  Jazzsoda: Kolchak wonders where the urinals went as he pisses on the ladies' room floor.  Reynard_T_Fox: "Oh good, my check from Publisher's Clearing House arrived! The real ones aren't as big."  E_B_A: "Bobbing for french fries is not as much fun as it sounds..."  Seltaeb: Good lord, that truck is blasting Start Me Up and Carl's doing his Jagger again!  Balderdash: "I filled it up for you but I can't look at it, I faint at the sight of urine"  E_B_A: "Woah... I have seen another bumper car for at least an hour... maybe I'm lost..."  AgentQ: "Roundabout that time the Duke boys discovered they'd up and turned into vampires. They went and taped up their windows real good so no sunlight could shine through."  d_cat_chopra: the next mother fucker that axs me who shot the couch is gonna get a major league ass kicking. dig?  E_B_A: "Yeah... I was kissed by a rose on a grave. Then it groped me and just wouldn't stop. I still have nightmares."  Jazzsoda: Seconds before I ran down old man McBrady, I had an epiphany. Damn! I really needed to get my headlights aligned!  Generik: In a major show of independence, Kolchak's shadow mimics him sitting at the typewriter when he's actually playing "Oops, I Did It Again" on the harmonica.  AgentQ: After the voodoo incident was over, Kolchak played skee-ball with the shrunken heads. After enough paranormal cases, you get kinda blase about the whole thing.  Reynard_T_Fox: "o/ Rollin' in my five-point-oh, with my rag-top-" *bullet whizzes by* "Jeepers!" *VROOM*  Hippie: Christ. Kolchak dunks the ball ONE time and spends the next five years carrying around the hoop and post. It was a kiddie hoop, you know, Carl?  Reynard_T_Fox: Oh, this must be the blooper reel where Carl spends fifty-five takes flubbing the pronounciation of "Condoleeza".  Jazzsoda: "But captain, my scanners are picking up-" "Kolchak?? Are you playing Star Trek Next Generation up in that old barn again?" "NO! ...make it so!"  Hippie: The Winwood-Kolchak ticket was destined for the White House, until Carl found out the scandal: Winwood had penned a little known anthem "Don't You Know What the Night Can Do." And Carl did.  HanoverF: Carl tried unsuccessfully to market his own brand of energy drink YellowYak  Jazzsoda: Only Kolchak could get this close without actually finding the night.  HanoverF: Is this the episode where Carl flags down an entire bus full or night, and fails to get the picture even when they ask him to rub nighttan lotion on them?  HanoverF: "The night is around here somewhere! I can..." Taste? "No" smell? "no" Touch? "no" see "no!" hear? "No! Whats that other one, the one with velcro"  AgentQ: Stumbling across a murder being committed by an actual human being, Carl is unable to process what he's seeing, his cognitive abilities fizzle out, and he starts to drool uncontrollably.  Jazzsoda: Oh what a feeling! Kolchak's dancing on a Sebring!  Hippie: Not only did the Night paint a number on Kolchak's back, he lured him *right* into the demolition derby. Ooo, you Night! Always three steps ahead!  Generik: "Jeez. When the chief told me to 'eat a bag of shit,' I had no idea it would be this big! Where'd this come from, anyway? Is Palance in town?"  Reynard_T_Fox: "Sometimes I think I might never catch The Night. But I just have to keep my head up and take things one day at a time. I have to go now, the light in here seems to be diminishing. 'Chak out." |