 William_Hippie_Harrison: A shitty tattoo of your dog? You call this a prize, you cheating little fuck?!? And your caramel-covered popcorn and peanuts are shit! *Cal! You don't mean that, man! |  HanoverF: Geez, Tracy needs one hell of a antenna to make that two way wrist radio work, just get a cell phone old man |  Reynard_K_Polk: "Senor Wences says open the bottle, it's time to PAR-TAY!" "Oh please, Senor, not again..." "*chug chug chug* 'SaRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!"  Reynard_K_Polk: I'll be going the Band Aid show, but I'm more interested in the opening act, Plain Mad. They're gonna be huge some day, trust me.  GerwashingtonK: "You will be killed by a falling cabinet full of toxic chemicals. Lucky numbers: 4 12 15 24 35 41"  AgentQuincyAdams: *fumbles* *library filecards go flying everywhere* "Mason! What are you doing over there?" "Um. They just went flying all over! Spontaneously! My God... call the Ghostbusters!"  William_Hippie_Harrison: Yes, but what do you do here? *Madam, our professional demeanor doesn't permit us small talk. Do you need our services or not?  Jazzald_Forda: I hate it when I'm just stopping in to buy a gross of rubbers and the pharmacist guilts me into picking up a pack of "Legends of the Pharmacy" famous pharmacist trading cards.  AgentQuincyAdams: Tex Flanagan and the Oklahoma Bastard weren't content to use civilized roads, but insisted on blazing their own trails. Their trails were right next to the roads, you know, so they wouldn't get lost.  Reynard_K_Polk: Strapped a dead horse to his live one in order to take the carpool lane.  AgentQuincyAdams: Through the twin miracles of genetic modification and time vibration technology, Ric Flair was turned into a horse and sent back to the 1800s. The scientists' motives remain unclear.  william_keogh_taft: "You were goin' pretty fast back there, mister." "Oh, yeah? Well, this high school diploma says I wasn't." (snatches it) "You have a good day, sir."  UnRealityBHays: "Oh! THESE bodies and THIS crawlspace!"  William_Hippie_Harrison: Okay, it's true: He can't tie a tie worth a shit. But are you really one to critique, Ms. Coney-Island-Footlong-for-a-Hat?  william_keogh_taft: "There'll come a time when decent folk stand up to you, mister. Honesty pays off in..." "Uh, do I get water or no?" "Sorry..." (starts pouring) "...and when they do, you'll find..."  GerwashingtonK: "I'd like to welcome you all to our first annual Fresh Scott Paper Ball. Hopefully it'll be a much better time than last year's first and last Used Scott Paper Ball."  Reynard_K_Polk: So does anyone know what time period this film takes place in? The 1880s? The 1930s? The future? That is a Zorak muppet in the back, right?  William_Hippie_Harrison: Then the executive producer, drunk as usual, pulled into a shot and caused a massive time-shift in the storyline.  UnRealityBHayes: Samuel Beckket's "Giddyup for Godot"  William_Hippie_Harrison: Movie timeframe? Don't worry about it, hon. It's Dark Citytown. In here, it's '50s kitcshy. The General Store is about 1890. The tanning salon, 1986...  AgentQuincyAdams: "Mom? It's me. Remember that movie, 'Batteries Not Included'? With the little UFOs? I always thought it was just a movie, but it's real, Mom! It's so horribly real!"  Reynard_K_Polk: "Excuse me, I need the number for Arnold Swisker." "Sorry, the telephone hasn't been invented over here yet." "What? Then what are you talking to me on?" "Can on a string."  William_Hippie_Harrison: No! The bank robbery had gone so well--but there it was, clear as day: The Garfield Signal! The lasagna-loving feline would be here soon!  GerwashingtonK: These twisted bastards are going to switch on the James Garfield signal at the same time as the Charles Guiteau signal.  william_keogh_taft: "Oh, man. I got three minutes before this C-4 goes off." "Plastique? What time period is this? Is that watch digital?"  Reynard_K_Polk: Now they're on the moon?! I demand to speak with the director!  william_keogh_taft: "Sheriff, it's your wife! I thought you might wanna take this." "How are you gettin' a signal all the way out here?" (both pause, stare stupidly at phone for long moment)  AgentQuincyAdams: "No, Stu, your tremendous weight!" *wagon collapses* "Oh, Stu, your collosal girth has cost us dearly once again." *audience readies for catchphrase* "I'm so danged fat!" *audience applauds*  Jazzald_Forda: "Damn Hank, if you just wanted to hang yourself, why'd you buy so much rope?" "It was on sale!" "But why'd you hogtie yourself?" "I had too much damned rope! Now are you gonna help me or what?"  William_Hippie_Harrison: When Chris saw the others he was standing in line with, he realized the El Salvadoran government had rounded up all fashion offenders for the firing squad. |