 MoldyLouWho: *sigh* "Someday I'll accomplish something to put on that plaque. Someday..." |  Reyggnog: Unbeknownst to big ass afficionado Fred, Susan's dress actually conceals eight trundling spider legs. |  Jinglesoda: I call bullshit. "Candy Moore" is clearly a porn star. "Peter Walker" is clearly a marital aid. And "Logan Field" is clearly an airport.  Reyggnog: Elliot Ness cleans up Humboldt County in The Unharshables, next on Poorly Researched Theater.  GersonK: Look at those ribbons fly. The cat must've had the burrito.  HanTChrist: Ouch, each Roofied the others drink, I'm not to up on my Dating Game rulebook, but I'm pretty sure thats a double disqualification  Reyggnog: Ted enters hour 2 of trying to find his seat.  Jinglesoda: The fun thing about a Transformers cell phone is that you don't know what fun thing it'll turn into until- WOAH! A robot riding a turkey? Cool! *brrrrrrrrring* Switch back! Hurry! I've got a call!  AgentTheRedNosedQ: "Madame Shirelda, what do you see in my future?" "I see a dystopian cyberpunk nightmare." "What about romance? Is there a--" "Emotions such as love are worthless in a world ruled by machines."  Jinglesoda: Bill built an entire stadium for his electric vibrating football board, including a disturbing number of female fans with jiggling breasts.  Reyggnog: "I'm Francis, the Talking Mule!" "So?" "I'm a mule that talks!" "This is a cartoon, Francie. Everything talks. The dais you're standing on talks." "Yeah, and your ass smells."  Generik: But his stage name ended up being "Crazy Guggenheim." Go figure.  MoldyLouWho: "I want to send this next number out to my wife of 53 years, Gertrude! o/I wanna f**k you like an animal... I wanna feel you from the inside...o/  GersonK: "Now hear me out! This is a million dollar idea - Sweaty's! The restaurant for sweaty guys!"  AgentTheRedNosedQ: Suzette's John Wayne impression was always the life of the party. At least, that's what she thought. Instead, it always ended up as a curiosity piece for a single confused onlooker.  JediClone: Is razor burn keeping you from a decent night's sleep? HanTChrist: Casting Couch: the Musical... now thats some audience participation I can get behind  JediClone: Villiage Of The Dull: "Please... no more bowling! I beg you-" "But We need you to bring up Our average, Father" *spooky music*  Reyggnog: "Oh, the weather outside is frightful. But my dear, you are so delightful." "Oh, Fred." "And since we've no place to go...LET US FUCK LET US FUCK LET US FUCK!" "Oh Fred!"  JediClone: "o/' later ooooonnnn we'll persire/ while your hardon expiries/ then face I'm afraid, a baby we've made/ foolin' round to Winter Wonderlaaaaaaand"  Jinglesoda: "Oh the weather out side is upchuckin', but we're inside and fuckin'..." "Dear, stop. You're not good at this." "Man I don't show no signs of stoppin', when I'm in here cherry poppin'..." "STOP!"  AgentTheRedNosedQ: Unimpressed by the showgirl's singing and dancing, Bat Masterson ordered her returned to her tube.  Jinglesoda: "Do you like my new lava lamp? I made it out of French people." "How do you get them to twitch around like that?" "Oh, they're not dead." "Oooooh."  Reyggnog: "These people suspended in the columns, is that ethical?" "Course it is! They don't feel a thing." "Then why is one of the columns rolling down the stairs toward us?" "Er-" *ROLLROLLSQUASH*  Old_Seltaeb_Nick: "And now, we begin the Christmas Slinky Extravaganza!" *deafening racket of slinkage*  HanTChrist: Sure was a lucky break when Monstro swallowed that trendy Bistro  TyranosaurisRex: Extreme close up of some plankton being ingested by a blue whale.  HanTChrist: How does buying a car over the internet work? Well the internets are a series of tubes and a handcrank, it would take a scientist to explain it  Reyggnog: *prrrrr* "Not now, clockwork hamster, I'm trying to do my homework." *chirp* *click* *whizzes oil on the table*  Jinglesoda: Yes! Grand Theft Matchbox! I'm gonna go rob the carwash!  Old_Seltaeb_Nick: Well, I've never been up Shit Road without a paddle before, this'll be interesting.  Jinglesoda: Holy shit, that's a big city! Holy crap, it's Michael J. Fox! Dude, can you shake up this OJ for me? *WHACRACK!* Oh! God just kicked me in the balls! Harsh!  naughty_or_keogh: As the nucleonic transmogrifier changes the Byzantine tax code into our nation's new Medicare system, Congress laughs maniacally, daring anyone to look upon it without going mad.  JediClone: Forced Perspective Threatre presents: A dwarf playing a cello!  AgentTheRedNosedQ: The brass section thought it was really funny to launch spitballs at the conductor through their instruments. In time, the conductor became remarkably adept at catching them.  HanTChrist: Today on mysteries of science, the Hostess Snowball, neither snow nor ball, and whats with the pink?  naughty_or_keogh: "The rangers didn't stop you when you came out of the park with this thing?" "Nope. They just kind of gave me this look...yeah, that's the one, like that!" AgentTheRedNosedQ: Everything about it was questionable. The hunting trip to Japan where the prey was sumo wrestlers, the trophy made by taking two sumo asses and gluing them together into a ball... everything.  Jinglesoda: We now return to House, only on Fox. "How's it hangin', House?" *creaks "Fuck you."* Next week, on House...  Jinglesoda: Fuckin' hippies.  Generik: The skeleton of the original Geoffrey the giraffe from Toys R Us is on display in Cabazon, CA. (Fuckin' hippie? Jazz, that was totally James Taylor!)  Reyggnog: "Go go Gadget trailer!" *sproing* *clatter clatter* "Ah. Now, Penny, go get me a beer!" "Why don't you go go gadget one yerself!" "Go go Gadget bitchslap!" *sproing* *long distance slap* |