 Jazzsoda: *Tooth Fairy ran out of quarters, had to improvise with mashed potatoes* |  JediClone: *Duck Hunt Dog stands up, laughs, wrenches neck, falls down* |  Reynard: "I found your chalk, Giant Professor!" "THANK YOU. NOW I SHALL CONTINUE MY LECTURE ON GIANT PARTICLE PHYSICS!"  SansSerif: Another dead niece? What am I doing wrong?  MonsterGoGo: "Mom, are these your new slippers?" "Yeah! Try 'em on!" *steps into slippers* *Memories about that Summer in '87 flood into her mind* *Can never look her mother in the eyes again*  AgentQ: "I'M HOME." "Here's your giant joint!" "HONEY, YOU ARE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND A GIANT COULD HOPE FOR. IT IS SUCH A SHAME THAT OUR RESPECTIVE SIZES PREVENT OUR COPULATION." "Shut up and smoke that."  Agent_Moldy: I love going to the shake pound, seeing all those cute, little shakes, wagging their straws as if to say, "Drink me! Drink me!" Just so sad when they have to be put down.  AgentQ: Chef Bleargh, the chef who was made out of beef byproducts, prepares to make his world-infamous marshmallow meatshake.  HanoverF: Blood Twinkies were a disaster.  AgentQ: *Seal attempts to open lid* "I can't do it!" *audience applauds*  HanoverF: "Ooh! Britta water filter pitcher, you've outsmarted me for the last time!"  MonsterGoGo: "Wow, uh, that's great, that's uh...does it have to make the violent vomitting noises every time?"  Coyote: Tired of... um... whatever it is you're doing?  InsideOutMan: "I said, SOAP PLEASE!" "No. Not until you apologise."  Jazzsoda: *furious sinkside masturbation* *soap spurts out rhythmically* "STOP COPYING ME!"  GuloGulo: Rids your house of jackasses!  Reynard: "You know, if only we didn't have to worry about losing our jobs if we miss days of work due to illness or if health care wasn't controlled by money-grubbing insurance companies-" "SHUT UP AND PUT ON THE HAND SANITIZER!" AgentQ: *Howard Hughes loads shotgun*  Jazzsoda: But I only wanted one! They keep me up at night with the sounds of their incessant fucking!  AgentQ: Has this ever happened to you? You're walking along and suddenly, BAM! You regress through the evolutionary ladder and start turning into a monkey! Oh no! We have the solution! The Revolve will make you a man again! Jazzsoda: Fred was conflicted his entire life by the fact that his dad was a jock and his mom was a geek. *gives himself a wedgie*  Jazzsodda: We insisted on a bluetooth baby when we were at the hospital. I mean seriously, who wants to touch that thing? It's all boogered up 24/7.  Occupant: ShoeDini holds your shoe . . . Shoe holds your foot . . . Ergo, ShoeDini holds your foot
This kind of logic is why they never gave Spock his own ship  Zonk: I think what irritates us men most is that women clearly enjoy finding a good pair of shoes more than having sex.  WB: What? The toes DON'T go in first?  AgentQ: George Kennedy's insatiable foot fetish and tendency to attack women to fulfill it got him frequent write-ups in the News Of The Weird. "Hey, any publicity is good publicity," he said through a mouthful of toes.  MonsterGoGo: "I CAN TAKES MY SHOES OFF AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!" *flips shoes off, goes flying backwards out the 3rd story window* |
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