 MonsterGoGo: "Move aside fellas, Ms. Muffin here needs a real man, heh-heh-DING~?! *baked treats spill out of his face* *breathing heavily* "Oh my God did those come outta me? Where did those come from?!" | Jazzsoda: "I love you Owen Oven!" *smooooooooootch* *face horribly burnt* *mental hospital staff chuckle over "Cherry Merry Muffin" name on admission form* |  GuloGulo: "The Friend That Fits Inside You" was possibly the worst ad slogan ever devised.  Jazzsoda: "She's beautiful like you, Cindy." "Get your own doll, ethnic girl." "Unlike her, your beauty is only skin deep." "?" *pulls doll string* *prerecorded voice* Get your own doll, ethnic girl  MonsterGoGo: "Oh shit, it's that crazy woman who baked herself a house and talks to fruit all day. Don't make eye contact." "HELLO BOYS!" "Relax, I'm pretty sure that was directed at the fruit."  Agent_Moldy: ♪ She's my cherry merry muffin, cool drink of water, so sweet for stuffin'...  echostation: Comes with everything you see here. Blood of the non-believers sold seperately.  MonsterGoGo: "Hee-Hee-Hee, how did you girls know I was so ticklish?" "Oh wow, yeah, I think we've drank too much of this Merry Juice." *bowl spends the next hour laughing at his own 'rimjob' jokes*  CrabofDoom: Cherry Merry C.H.U.D.ling  Agent_Moldy: Sally prefers the Cherry Merry NyQuil.  AgentQ: "I love my body so much, I had the walls made out of strips of my own skin!"  GuloGulo: See how the isopod gestates within her.  GuloGulo: "How can you ever hope to score with me if you can't even do one fucking push-up?"  AgentQ: "Dammit, who tipped the mannequin over?"  GuloGulo: How To Fart And Beg For Money At The Same Time  GuloGulo: "Mama needs a new pair of shoes! And some furniture! And some people to join this game of craps so I can actually win some money and thus acquire the aforementioned items!"  Agent_Moldy: "Heat, you so fat, you eat Wheat Thicks! Awww, SNAP!" *Heat walks away*  Reynard: "Yo mama's so fat, she make her OWN holes in the ice for hunting seals! Polar SNAP!"  MonsterGoGo: "Awww~that feels so good...what's Polar Snap made out of anyway?" "Wet puppy dog noses." "OHMYGOD--" "Space age wet puppy dog noses."  UnReality: But she has a great personality.  Death: Perfect for the hideous four-legged freak you insist on treating like a human child  Reynard: "YOU KNOW HOW KEANU REEVES WAS ABLE TO DO ALL THAT COOL SHIT IN THE MATRIX! MAGNETS! YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DODGE NAILS IN SLO MO! WOOSH! NANANAnanana...WOOSH! NANANananana..."  Shanky: ...large lesbian.  Jazzsoda: "Fucking help me! This arm magnet's out of control! I-" *neighbor's mailbox flies across yard, sticks to dude's arm* "Owww! Somebody fucking-" *aluminum barn collapses on him*  MonsterGoGo: So when you "tough guy" nudge someone on the sidewalk, they fucking know you're serious.  Agent_Moldy: Let's see... Not buying it = Saves money Carry the 3, minus the square root of pi... you're right!  HanoverF: Pig Probably double dips too. I'm watching you, lady.  MonsterGoGo: "Heh heh, c'mere beautiful..." *stiff wind blows* *hair starts falling out in clumps, lips deflate, forehead wrinkles up like a pack of fried hotdogs, teeth slowly turn auburn, boobs wilt...*  GuloGulo: The damn things stuck straight up before we figured out that we should use gravity.  MonsterGoGo: "Oh wait, hold on." *puts on hat of hair*  Agent_Moldy: Because of our patented, space-aged non-little boy technology!  Occupant: Really, is anyone who's in the market for spare hair going to know not to include the space in the URL?  HanoverF: *Effortless Extensions phones remain silent*
*Infomercial retooled as ZZTop beards* *ZZ Top beards fly from shelves* |
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