 InsideOutMan: *least satisfying Shyamalan twist of all time* | Occupant: Welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, Bela Lugosi's shit isn't going to smell itself! |  Hippie: Technically, I did buy just one ticket for G.I. Joe, but my colossally low expectations were big enough they took up the seat next to me.  Jazzsoda: Tell us something about Mormons we don't already know. "They buy a lot of Wayne Newton records." Ew!  Seltaeb: A tale of a fateful trip...  Jazzsoda: "Hello?" "Get on with the movie already." "Oh. Sorry." "No prob." "Bye." "Bye."  Reynard: She queefs like the Ark of the Covenant.  Seltaeb: "But I grudge bears." "That doesn't make any sense." "But does sense make you?" *click*  InsideOutMan: "No-one was. I thought Billy Mays was a great role model."  JediCorpse: "Oh, sugar, you have no idea how fast *I* can beg!" "Wha?" *click*  CrabofDoom: Another night, another tree nymph drunk and splayed upside-down against the bedroom wall.  Hippie: Nothin'. Just holding it until my boyfriend gets back. There's blood gushing out of your chest wound-- I RAN INTO A BAYONET! God, you guys sooo need counseling.  InsideOutMan: Dear diary, My husband is sneaking up on me with the intention of strangling the life from my body with a pair of pantyhose. I fear our marriage is well and truly ov  HanoverF: "How's that for a twist, someone keeps calling her threatening to strangle her, and then she's strangled. Eat Shit M. Night." Seltaeb: "Does Boris Karloff shit in the woods? Check this out, kids..."  Jazzsoda: *passing bat pulls his finger* *bayou gets foggier*  Seltaeb: That should be easy.  JediClone: kinky!  JediClone: Because Earth is the only place where you could have kept breathing long enough to do it. Dumbass.  Reynard: "...'anyone need anything at the store'? That was...*sob*...thirty minutes ago..."  Seltaeb: Hello, Wounded. Nice to meet you!  TravisBickle: Midnight will be lawyering up now! Going to be wearing a neck brace and everything. The clock barely touched you, bitch!  Jazzsoda: Give him some bacon. He'll "recognize" anyone who gives him bacon.  HanoverF: "And my hemorrhoid- ENOUGH! WE GET IT!  Zee: I'm Kurt Vonnegut. I exist on cigarettes and irony.  Seltaeb: "You did try to dribble the last one."  Jazzsoda: "But you broke the last one!" "Don't be silly, I want to see my grandson!" "Okay. But be caref-" *old man flings toddler into the fireplace* "DAAAAAD!!"  Seltaeb: At the You Can't Do That On Television reunion, Alistair finally gets his revenge on Ross.  Agent_Moldy: "But they're about to do the Time Warp again. How could we possibly leave now?"  InsideOutMan: *takes hand away* *starts bleeding subtitles*  Hippie: The decomposed remains of either Akbar or Jeff were discovered by police this morning...  Reynard: "See, I caa eyen tah wight. Ih suhhs."  Hippie: I know we've had our rough patches, but this marriage was founded on harsh, unnatural consonant sounds, and I believe we can always sustain on that.  Seltaeb: Due to age, it takes five minutes for Boris to extend his middle finger. HanoverF: "How was that? I was pretty fucking great, huh? Those other guys though? Buncha jerk offs."  Hippie: All the outlaws at the table began to suspect Rudy the New Age cowboy was dealin' dirty when Chip ended up with the Death card.  Seltaeb: Somebody's Fleshlight is really worn out... Jazzsoda: "Aw, he did remember Valentine's Day. He got me flower." *giant hummingbird knocks her ass down scrambling to get at that sweet, sweet nectar*  Hippie: Amy Winehouse has chosen her new look! Horizontal!  Hippie: Next she'll be following them on tour everywhere... living out of a van, trying to sell her pathetic charcoal art for gas money... singing along to the guitar solos... let's just put a stake through her heart and end it!  HanoverF: Ha, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that...
I could probably afford to hear it one more time.  Nyssa23: Guys! Don't strike the set yet, we're still rolling! ...Guys? |
| 
| 
|