 echostation: The Horseless Headman |  Reynard: I bought a car from him once. The price was quite reasonable. |  HanoverF: "Take me you animal! Take me now! Right here in the Snuggie!"  Seltaeb: He bled all over Pearls Before Swine before I had a chance to read it. Bastard. E_B_A: "Maybe there's some evidence of foul play under this severed head."  keogh: "Poor Brad never had a chance, when confronted by the..." (stage-whisper) "...Name-Tag Ninja."  HanoverF: "So, about that cask of amontillado?" "Jesus, would you let me finish this wall first please, or are you gonna keep pestering me to death?!" Jazzsoda: "OH YEA- *THUNK* OW! Goddammit! That giant pitcher of Kool-Aid makes this look so easy!" "You want me to pull out a few more bricks?" "Yeah, I wanna take another run at this."  E_B_A: "Ah... Mr. Cheney... before leaving the White House, you might want to take a look in our 'Lost and Found' box..."  Jazzsoda: "No- don't... you're making the incision too high." "FINE! Do YOU want to perform this operation?" "I'd better not. You know I'm all thumbs."  HanoverF: "Hello, we're from the Church of Scientology. Are you happy with your life? Do you feel spiritually fulfilled? Would you like to buy a new spleen?"  E_B_A: Clive Barker's take on the "Hang in there!" cat poster gave me nightmares for weeks.  AgentQ: "My! Name! Be! Herbert West, Re-animator! When you die you come back later! This the site wit alligator! All you alls a buncha haters! I'm evil shit just like Darth Vader! Add it up like a calculator!"  CrabofDoom: *CAUTION: reanimation ineffective on Morrisey.  HanoverF: "You think a minor setback like this would stop me?! NO WAY IN HELL! ROMNEY 2012, BAY-BE!"  MonsterGoGo: "Zombie? what zombie?" "Uh..right behind you." "What?! I thought he was just black! With all that soul they have and...man, maybe we Cambridge police do racially profile."  E_B_A: "What our motivation?" *DIRECTOR WAVES BRAINS AT ZOMBIES* "We good. Do take..."  AgentQ: *Skeletor sighs* *wonders where he left that damn muscle suit* *mutters "THIS is why I shouldn't drink" to self*  TravisBickle: "Tiiiiickle tickle tickle. Tickle. Tickle tickle." *dead guy gets up* "Stop that!" "Success!"  Agent_Moldy: The autopsy revealed that Macho Man Randy Savage had died of an overdose of Slim Jims.  HanoverF: HI ZOMBIE BILLY MAYS HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE AWESOME UNGODLY POWER OF MIGHTY RE-ANIMATE-IT!  CrabofDoom: Jerry Lewis: Spaz and Dumbass on the next Biography.  InsideOutMan: The hardest part in zombie track meets is getting them to wait for the starter's pistol.  E_B_A: Rejected Superheros #4671: "Off-Duty Mall Santa Who Fires Stained Glass Windows Out his Left Ear"  MonsterGoGO: "I'm beginning to think that lawyer we hired is Satan." "What? That's crazy." "His briefcase never stops burning, when he opens it you hear the screams of the damned, and he files everthing under 'soul'."  InsideOutMan: "Still depressed over being in Failure To Launch, Mr. McConnaughey? Perhaps I can be of some assistance." "Who are you?" "I'm a recruitment officer for a super-secret league of international douchebags."  MonsterGoGo: "John, I'm so scared!" "Don't worry baby, I won't let anything get you." "Oh thank God, John. Thank God you're here!" "Yea-ZzZzZzzzZzzz..."  Occupant: *plays 'Oh, Susanna' on phone* "Good morning. American Medical Association!" *slams phone*  Hippie: I said on a SILVER PLATTER, asshole. Specifically asked for James Cameron's head on a SILVER PLATTER. I expect a reduction in my bill.  MonsterGoGo: "Ugh...er...seriously! How can I sleep with all your mouth breathing?! Hey!" *clamps mouth shut, plugs his nose* *loud wet moans erupt from his neck*  Occupant: Finally! A nice, quiet moment of . . . *blood sprays from telephone* Aw, dammit!  MonsterGoGo: *pulls out dead animals from his clothes* *children scream* "Are you sure this is the kid's clown?" *bends over and farts, his pants slowly saturating with blood* *children cry* "I don't think that was magic."  Jazzsoda: The doctor was concerned that I interpreted yet another of his Rorschach blots as two fetal pigs making out during the last scene of Ghostbusters. I was concerned about where he was buying his freaky Rorschach blots.  Jazzsoda: Some days, Bill felt like the worst pediatrician in the world.  Hippie: The re-animating of dead tissue at least tore him away from his last rabid obsession, ticketing the speeding cockroaches inside his walls using his homemade radar gun as evidence.  E_B_A: This zombie would have joined the horde in raiding the mall but its nails are still drying.  MonsterGoGo: Gomer Pyle returns to Mayberry after his time in the Army. "THE WAR CHANGED MEH, AN'DEE."  Hippie: Thanks for the offer, but what would I even do with your left nut? And you're still not getting in the club.  JediClone: *sound of Clive Barker masterbating furiously* |
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