 CrabofDoom: "Good evening, and welcome to News at Fred..." |  Agent_Moldy: Wonka: Bjorkian for 'Refund' | Jazzsoda: Eventually the army gave up on trying to keep gays out and focused their efforts on keeping out people preoccupied with arcane details or procedures in a specialized field.  MonsterGoGo: "DID YOU SAY 'CHOCOLATE'?!" "Yes, yes I did, Sir." "CHOCOLATE MAKE MAN DEER GO CRAaAaAaZY!" "Ohhh-kay, well I--" *Man Deer bucks wildly into film crew*  HanoverF: Wonka Ribs failed to catch on, mostly since Oompa Loompa meat tastes like shit.  Reynard: Little Billy never wanted to take his cowboy stuff off, even when he was conducting hard-hitting television interviews. So cute.  MonsterGoGo: "I wanna cover you in chocolate and~" "BUT I'M TEN!" "Uh, it's cool everyone--I'm blind. Didn't know. Bye." Blind Pedophiles: Always Get Away With It  TravisBickle: These are the ovaries, kids. Now, let's see if we can make them fight.  Reynard: This is why you never show Grandpa your hands.  Jazzsoda: Thank God. It was really bothering me to think that more than four people actually paid to see Batman & Robin in the theater.  Reynard: "Damn, how does my dick keep getting all the way out of the front of the...oh hi kids!"  TravisBickle: Voila! Your horrendous deaths await.  CrabofDoom: The reason Rome fell? Made entirely out of Pez. Lemon Pez.  MonsterGoGo: "HERE! GRAB ONTO MY ENORMOUS SUCKER!" "Zank you!" *starts devouring sucker* "No, grab...no...you gotta grab..." *starts choking on stick* *sighs* *lets go*  HanoverF: ♪"Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow No tomorrow No tomorrow"♪ "What was that Wonka?" "Oh nothing. On with the tour!"  Reynard: "Mr. Einstein, you're under arrest for surprise buttsecks." "Sgt. Friday! Ach du lieber!"  MonsterGoGo: "Eh, Wonka...ever since I ate that gumdrop my uh...well, you look." *unzips fly--weiner boy pops out looking curious* "Oh! Cock Drops. That's part of the fun!" *weiner boy giggles*  Reynard: "Five to one, baby, one in five! No one here gets out alive!" "What?" "Nothing, on with the tour!"  MonsterGoGo: "I wanna go see the soda room!" "I wanna play on gumdrop isle!" "Let's ride the chocolate coaster!" "Can we--" "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! Fuck. Shut up."  Jazzsoda: I made sure to grab the deleted scene where Mr Salt steals an Everlasting Ginsoaker and spends the rest of the movie laughing drunkenly like Arthur at everything that happens.  JediClone: "Mister Wonka, what's this writing here?" "Don't! Please, I must insist, no reading the manufacturing notes!" "Violet Beauregard Trap... Copyright Two Days Ago..." "GET AWAY FROM THERE!"  Jazzsoda: They had to remake this movie in 2005 since 21st century children couldn't understand the old 20th century stigma attached to being morbidly obese.  Occupant: "Are you in there, Mr. Vader?" *heavy breathing* "The temp agency said you'd be like this."  HanoverF: "The Strawberries taste like strawberries! THE PURPLE TASTES LIKE PURPLE! And it's all done with lead based paint! Enjoy you little monsters!"  HanoverF: Jim Henson's Christopher Hitchens babies  CrabofDoom: "Real shame that three of you are dead, eh? Well, all aboard!" *Mike crushed under wheels* "Whoa. Wasn't even planning that one."  Occupant: "What sense does it make to miniaturize a 300 pound bar of chocolate? Kinda wasteful, don't you think?" "You want logic? Here? I fed you people flowers!"  Jazzsoda: Few people realize how white MTV was before Michael Jackson came along.  HanoverF: "Why there goes Üter now!" "Augustus." "Who gives a fuck?!"  Reynard: "You're the one I hate the least, so you get to come into my inner sanctum and watch me do the company's income taxes!" "Uh..." "Super Deductulariffic!"  HanoverF: "Congratulations! You win! Now we all get to die together!" "You're a madman Wonka, Mad!" "You're just realizing this now?!"  Reynard: "Some day, Charlie, all of this will be yours!" *Charlie bites his nails nervously* "AAGH! UNCLEAN! NO ONE WINS!" *shoves Charlie out the elevator doors*  Occupant: "Uh, Mr. Wonka . . . we overshot the mattress factory . . . and the foam rubber convention." "Where are we going to land?" "Donald Trump's soul." "Brace for impact, everybody!" |
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