 AgentQ: Chad was just walkin' through the mall mindin' his own when SURPRISE COMPOUND KNEE FRACTURE |  MonsterGoGo: "Alright Sweep Bots, you know what to do?" "KILL." "KILL ALL." "SWEEP!" "Eh, good enough." |  Thwacky: "Dear diary...its was our 84th straight day without a single customer..."  Jazzsoda: "CLOSER." "Why the fuck did they build you nearsighted?" "CLOSER. WHAT IS THAT, COMIC SANS? MY OCR REFUSES TO READ YOUR SHITTY FONT CHOICE."  E_B_A: "That reminds me. I have to pick up my clothes from the dry cleaner... ...and drag them through the gutter on my way home."  Thwacky: Carl's Jr. Don't bother me. I'm Eating.  Zonk: "I was in Night of the Comet... and on a soap opera for a while... uh huh... Well, I gotta go, some cappers are here and they want me to do something weird so they can mock my feeble acting career."  Jazzsoda: "Hey Margie, does your cat still do that cute thing where it licks the power outlets?" "Yeah, why do you ask?" *BFFFFRRZZZZT* "No reason."  HanoverF: *Only Ishmael survives, clinging to Queequeg’s coffin* "Fucking spoilerbot!" *You will die alone and still a virgin.*  TravisBickle: "You're right, Becky. This is better than cheddar!" *Better Cheddar box watches, a lone tear rolling down its side*  E_B_A: *COMMENCING FLUID WASTE DISPOSAL!* "Again!? Stop it you fucking fluid waste factory!" *DON'T LOOK AT ME. I CAN'T GO WITH YOU LOOKING AT ME*  TravisBickle: The long-forgotten follow-up to "Bette Davis Eyes." Ladies and gentlemen, we give you "Marty Feldman Tits."  Seltaeb: I'd ogle, but with my luck it'll pan up and it'll be one of the Jonas Brothers...  Hippie: YOUR SOFA Your change was only an appetizer. Now it's coming after YOU YOUR SOFA  Generik: "So if this is my underwear, where are my fucking handcuffs?"  CrabofDoom: "Positions, men!" "♪ Ready! ♪" "GREG, GODDAMN IT."  Hippie: Much like their chimpanzee brethren, Neil, Pat, and Mike followed the separate philosophies of "Wait, Don't Want No Evil," "Yo, Evil, Stay Down, Don't Cause Me No Grief," and "Quick, Blow Me While No One's Looking, Evil"  E_B_A: "Chicago! Are you ready to do some tax returns?" *AUDIENCE CHEERS* "I said, are you you ready to do some tax returns!?" *AUDIENCE CHEERS LOUDER*  Seltaeb: Napalm bowling never caught on like I thought it would.  Hippie: I've tried doing that cool Linda Hamilton "Ka-Chunk!" thing where I reload the gun and I end up smashing my nuts every time. I guess only girls can do it or something.  Reynard: "I'm telling you, the grays have infiltrated our society!" "You're crazy, Phil. Right, Grwsxyk?" "AffFIRMaTIVE."  Jazzsoda: Idiots. It took me an hour to find my way out of that place after some asshole mislabeled the door "WALL."  E_B_A: "MAY CONTAIN KILLER ROBOTS" "Dammit! Was that sign there all along!?" Hippie: Well, in fairness, the theater owners did post their warning pretty openly that their ushers may coldcock you and steal your stuff.  E_B_A: "What do you mean an Olympic swimming pool is about to fall on me? That's the dumbest thing I've ever-" *SPLASH*  AgentQ: It was so awesome when the genie emerged from her bottle, half-woman, half-smoke, ready to grant our wishes. Then she tripped and fell down. Kinda spoiled the moment.  E_B_A: Well maybe if you hadn't been eating all of that glass all day you wouldn't be vomiting up glass now, lady! |
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