 Generik: We've reduced Billy Mays' brain to its four most prominent areas: Low intelligence, shit all over the place, shadowy business practices and rancid Jello. |  E_B_A: "Shuffleboard and catfood! What do these things have in common! Fuck all! MY LEGS! MY FUCKING LEGS! YOU BASTARDS!" |  BuckFifty: "YOU SEE SALLY, THIS EVEN CLEANS THE FLOOR WHERE YOU DREW ON IT WITH CRAYONS." "My daughter is deaf Mr Mays." 'Oh, sorry. YOU SEE SALLY, THIS EVEN CLEANS THE FLOOR WHERE YOU DREW ON IT WITH CRAYONS."  animebabe: "ORANGE GLO IS 100% MY OWN URINE. I EAT ONLY THE FINEST GLOW WORMS FOR THIS PRODUCT, AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK, I'LL PERSONALLY COME TO YOUR HOUSE TO FIX IT. PERSONALLY. IMAGINE ME IN YOUR HOUSE. DOES IT WORK NOW?"  Reynard: "NOW TO LIGHT A MATCH AND THE INSURANCE MONEY WILL BE-OH NO I'VE BEEN SPOTTED!! CURSE MY INHERENT LACK OF STEALTH!"  UnReality: "It's true! Prostitutes like a clean floor!"  JediClone: "HI! BILLY MAYS-" *vase shatters* "WHY DOES THAT KEEP HAPPENING?" *beard shatters*  animebabe: UPPIE! BILLY WANT UPPIE!  Jazzsoda: Wow, so does my lack of pets and the fact that I don't own an in-house cremation oven.  keogh: Says you. Who do I talk to about ruining my note, lily, maxi, mouse, bachelor, shoulder, knee, launch, and thai? I oughta make you eat that fine print.  GuloGulo: Warning: Food becomes inedible when heated.  Jazzsoda: Aw, I love these old tapes of Billy Mays serenading his wife-to-be with tender love songs from downstairs, it's so romantic. "♪YOU HOBO HUMPING SLOBO BABE GET IT OFF GET OFF GET OFF OF ME!"  E_B_A: That should more than make up for the fore-arm you lost in the juicing accident!  Nyssa23: But enough about your dad, kids.  E_B_A: Of course, having Noam Chomsky in drag dry-hump your dishwasher is one of the downsides...  GuloGulo: Our ancestors would spend up to a week preparing a plate of nachos. How far we have come. jack_routers: Add Skittles for a Mexican treat that can't be beat!  GuloGulo: All this and a transvestite, too?  E_B_A: Everybody had to take a moment to enjoy Uncle Bob's freakish ability to fill glass after glass with vomit like some kind of soft-serve machine.  Reynard: "Honey, this core sample of your meatloaf is really shedding light on its ancient mysteries!"  jack_routers: Atlas's primary directive.  Occupant: Order now and we'll also send you a potato masher with a siren ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!  Reynard: Flossing: The Board Game wasn't a very big seller.  BuckFifty: The real reason Dinosaurs became extinct: Lemon Gin "*hic* 'scuse me sir..." *tar-pitted quite badly*  Occupant: "Take that, fuckers!" "Billy! Language!" "Sorry, dad! Take that, motherfuckers!" "That's better!"  E_B_A: "Gee dad. Can we play another game aside from 'Gravedigger?' This is depressing!" "Maybe, but Puff the Magic Dragon might cheer you up..." *PRESSES PUFF'S 'TALK' BUTTON* Puff: "Time to dig more graves!" *KID SOBS*  SansSerif: Two things in this picture have been inside her.  E_B_A: It was a bold move to have the commercial feature nothing but actors who have missing limbs, but then I guess that's what you have to do to sell a game called, "Limbshredder." HanoverF: "This game is dumb. The stupid dinosaur just runs around randomly knocking pieces over, there's no skill or strategy involved, it's all luck and chance and that's the sign of an inferior game-  HanoverF: -WOO HOO I FUCKING WON! EAT IT CHUMPS!" |
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