 kilroy105: As if hearing fron Billy Mays wasn't enough... we now have to hear from his ass? |  AgentQ: "Shut up, word balloon. I know it doesn't smell. I don't care. I'm spraying it anyway. All things in my home must be covered in chemicals. All things." |  JediClone: "MADE FOR HULK, BUT SHE-HULK LIKE IT TOO!"  Hippie: Just toilet train those fucking kids already.  Occupant: *sprays on self* *vanishes*  Reynard: Good, I hate it when I buy other brands of all-natural cleaners and they turn out to be full of nightshade.  AgentQ: "HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE PORTABLE SANDBOX! IT'S HOURS OF FUN FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, INCLUDING VERY OLD ONES! JUST SPRAY SOME WATER AND YOU CAN MAKE A SAND CASTLE! DAMMIT, OVEN! STOP SPOUTING NON-SEQUITURS!"  Hippie: Did you hear that, Muffy dear? Someone else is using our little nickname for our place in the Hamptons!  JediClone: Gritty Kitty: It Stays Crunchy Even In Milk!  Occupant: "All right then, YOU do the damn cooking!"  JediClone: "HI THERE!" *Dog yelps in pain* "BILLY MAYS HERE!" *Dog yelps in pain* "TO SHOW YOU MY NEW!" *Dog yelps in pain* "SONIC NEUTERING DEVICE!" *Dog feels nothing. Ever again.*  Hippie: Don't do it, Billy... there's a lot to live for. I'll bet half of America still has no clue how to make their litterboxes stop smelling like catshit. Have you thought about coming out during the daylight?  Jazzsoda: The vet cringes every time he hears Billy is bringing his cat in again for its "gas problem."  Agent_Moldy: "Yeah, I slapchopped her! Look, the bitch shamwowed me, so what was I supposed to do?"  JediClone: The first sign that the night was turning sour: Vince refused to take off the stupid microphone in bed.  Hippie: Stupid international directions. I'll never get this printer hooked up. Does anybody have a glass of eggnog?  TravisBickle: Slap chopped so hard, her head no longer lines up with the rest of her body.  AgentQ: "The Puki 3000 is the hot new robot slave out of Japan. You know the Japanese make good stuff. Computers. Teriyaki sauce. Monster movies. Don't say porn don't say porn don't say porn."  Jazzsoda: Roman Legionaries who fell into a time vortex love the Slap Chop! "I find your times strange and indecipherable." Get yours now!  Hippie: They always put all that cheese in your cup so they don't have to give you as much soda.  CrabofDoom: I could never put my finger on just what it is about him that fuels my hate. Now, I'm afraid if I do, I could catch something.  TravisBickle: But then, USA Network has never been that responsible to begin with.  Agent_Moldy: Scared yet, sinners?  HanoverF: Wha? Do the Amish even believe in fire?  AgentQ: *everyone dies of smoke inhalation* Poochinski: NO SANTA NO PRESENTS MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS  Reynard: "It's just a picture of fire, isn't it?" "That it is, but if we sit by it and think upon the Lord, then verily we shall be warm in His love." "Quit talking like that." "That I shan't, English."  Agent_Moldy: "I can't wait to get my own Amish Miracle Fireplace!" *Not sold to any Steve Gutenburgs "Awwwww..."  HanoverF: "Cindy, don't mention the Fireplace uses electricity so loudly, we just got the Amish calmed down enough to film without thinking our camera was stealing their souls."  keogh: "You may say, 'But Aaron, how can you, an Amish man, be the crafter of the finest cylinder base gaskets for airplane engines?' Look, I just cast 'em. What people do with 'em after they leave my barn is not my business."  Hippie: I've always had to live the cheap life... haircuts at home... Amish fireplaces... I even had to draw these goddamned diamonds on my sweater myself...  Poochinski: Ambivalent Towards His Son  HanoverF: Pennsylvania has the Worst Massage Parlors  UnReality: "But in a good way!"  TravisBickle: Thanks, Prometheus!  Zonk: "We promise this is MUCH better than our Tribal Masai Warrior Air Conditioning Units." "Yeah, Don't know WHAT we were thinking with that one."  Weltschmerz: us cappers write under things too, how come they don't want our approval?  Jazzsoda: *thought she was buying a Jewish Miracle Fireplace* *not sure if the Amish are stereotypically good at saving money or not* *is confused*  keogh: DuzzemByFireLite: hopes Obadiah don't see this Blackberry, word?  CrabofDoom: Heat Surge MENNONITE AND THE VANDELLAS  Hippie: Shipping box made by the Kalahari bushmen.  Jazzsoda: *box cracks open, dozens of citrus sodas and a Robert DeNiro DVD spill out* "Heat? Wow, this movie rocks!" "What the fuck? We've been duped!" "You won't think that after you've seen the bank robbery scene!" |
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