 kilroy105: So it disintegrates towels? |  Jazzsoda: "For the last time, honey, the doctor said you have gout!" *SCRUBSCRUBSCRUB* "This is worse than the time you had salmonella and tried to market that awful salmon-vanilla flavored ice cream." *RETCHES* |  Maddog: So, it can look clean or two different levels of dirty? I have to admit that I'm now intrigued by their cunning.  CrabofDoom: Safe for C.H.U.D.ren of all ages!  Nyssa23: So when you said you were going to let the girls out, this is what you meant?  Occupant: Blocks out UV rays and erases your debit card! Sign me up!  CrabofDoom: *invisible man leans in* *invisible friend takes picture* *both run away. invisibly.* "What the fuck was that?" Reynard: "Excuse me? My eyes are up HERE." "Well SURELY you can see how I might get confused, huh?!"  Occupant: Unusual name. Is it Dutch?  Agent_Moldy: OMG. First some unclean grout, and now a free CLOTH?!?! Wow... I just... I mean, I just never thought I, a single woman from Missouri, could ever get so lucky! *wipes tear*  Jazzsoda: *opens package* *MINI Cooper smashes through wall, sticks to magnet* *sound of another screeching along in the distance, people screaming* "Fucking mom. It would have killed her to get me a chick magnet this year?"  echostation: "I readed the fancy letter-words all by myself!"  kilroy105: The ability to locate hidden objects in the Finders Keepers house no longer available in TruColor.  CrabofDoom: My, your daughter's been... er... busy, Mr. Johnson. "Fuck off and die."  Generik: Comes with a complimentary cask of Amontillado!  Jazzsoda: *snatches up centipede* *bites head off* *tosses the wriggling body in the bucket with the rest* *husband cracks open beer, thumbs through the warranty for his Ukrainian mail-order bride*  Agent_Moldy: When your bushes need a fluffer, the Garden Groom is there!  Occupant: from the creators of Bathroom in a Bowl and Rumpus Room in a Tiny Rhinestone Clutch Purse  KIPPAGE: I had a dream about this thing Chasing Me ...  Reynard: I had one of those. Bastard left my weed whacker at the altar.  echostation: "You'll stay in place now, motherfucker!" *KA-CHUNK!* "Thanks, Garden Stapler!"  Jazzsoda: Wow, they must be serious if they hired Sammy Hagar as their celebrity spokesperson! *pulls ripcord* *MROWWW* "♪I can't groooom... Ata55degreeangle!" (HCC studio audience boos)  darkglasses: "Yeah, this is pretty amazing. Not as amazing as your wife last night, but..."  Jazzsoda: *Garden Groomed suddenly from behind* *rest of crew is careful to gingerly step around Reese's pieces*  Reynard: Only detectable by the smallest and most curious fingers.  InsideOutMan: "Well? What do you think?" "You've fucked it, mate. Now piss off before I call the cops." Aussies and infomercials don't mix.  HanoverF: "Oh Billy, you silly boy! Your parents were using that bowl to store some special mushrooms! Now you're going on a magical journey! Try not to swallow your tongue."  Seltaeb: "Mom, there's a giant cock in the kitchen!" "Thomas, I keep telling you to tie your robe in front of the kid!"  Reynard: "Part of a complete breakfast!" "And you're part of a complete dinner, right?" "Uh...KELLOGG'S CORN FLAKES YIPPEE!"  AgentQ: "It's the only cookie with a director's commentary!"  CrabofDoom: "Hey! Your kids taste great!"  Jazzsoda: "How's my 401K doing? 17% of last year's value? Elfshit." "Ha ha, I find your widdle biddy pwobwems so amusing, small ones!" "Looks like cookies for dinner again tonight." "Ha ha!" "My kids are growing up stunted." "Ha!"  AgentQ: "At this rate, you guys'll be releasing giant chips with a little bit of cookie in 'em in no time!" "What have I told you about interrupting our magical elven cookie meetings?" "You... you told me not to." "Good."  CrabofDoom: "Gonna need another case. Real shame if something happened to this tree..."  mushmouth: after just 6 short hours in the Ronco Food Dehydrator, your cows' anus jerky will satisfy and delight even your most finicky Super Bowl party guests.  HanoverF: "Aww crap! It's Booberry! He's back from the grave to fuck up our shit!" |
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