 Matteus: hey, these aren't organs! this is gefilte fish! |  Zonk: As the Bizarro world Spider-man who publishes the Daily Bugle. |  Jazzsoda: It's a pain in the ass playing doubles tennis with Dan and his soul, since they keep getting mixed up over which one of them can impact matter on the physical level. There is a lot of yelling.  AgentQ: ♪ We know Major Tom's a loon  Matteus: either she's wearing his pants or he's wearing her blazer  Zonk: "Who's the fruit for?" "He's just my brother." "I meant the basket."  shanky: That's worth a thousand words?  Jazzsoda: *airplane toilet keeps running* *muffled screams from cabin* *jiggles handle* *plane spirals into an increasingly steep dive* *jiggles handle furiously*  AgentQ: It's good to know these detectives won't be pressured into binge drinking and unsafe sex.  Matteus: how can a man who jumped to his death be planning a launch? Agent_Moldy: Well, wouldn't you do the same if you were served a poena that was sub-standard?  Reynard: "But by the sacred ashes of Jonathan Brandis, we must ALL-" *knocks over urn with particularly dramatic gesture* "...oh shit. Religion adjourned."  Jazzsoda: "Guywho'llhelpmefindsomepantssayswhat." "What?" "Oh thank God."  echostation: "What's that, boobies? Yes, don't worry. I brought plenty of quarters for the bed."  Agent_Moldy: And since I don't actually live here... *begins throwing stones*  Dibbley: "Okay, lets' go through this again. When Morticia calls, we tell her that if she wants her chair back she's gotta cough up the dough. Got it?"  CrabofDoom: Damned if I know what today's top story is, but the park benches think it's eeeeexcellent... Jazzsoda: I hate it when I whip open my new issue of Cosmo and the Half a Scottsman sample goes flying out.  JediClone: In this month's issue, our staff tested a number of top-end getaway cars for speed and manuverability. You'll be blown away by our results! Or the police. Agent_Moldy: "Got Stress? Get a Mafiassage!" "Picnics With 'The Family'. Who Brings the Potato Salad?" "Blood Stains Hard to Get Out? Not Anymore!"  echostation: "Betty White doesn't deserve to smell my shit!"  keogh: What history fails to teach us is the abortion ruling was predicated mostly on getting this woman to stop offering her services door to door.  echostation: "See? There's still a bald spot! Prepare to die, Bosley Hair Centers!" AgentQ: "Stop or I'll shoot!" "I'm mooning that motherfucker with my head's asshole." "You're what? What are you- OH MY GOD YOUR HEAD HAS AN ASSHOLE." "All this time and you never knew? I thought we were friends!"  CrabofDoom: Arnold Airlines: GET TO DA CHOPPAHS... in luxury!  AgentQ: Oh, man! Remember the '80s, when all the frat guys would get drunk and do the Curly Shuffle?  HanoverF: "Someone help me! Stop him! I never consented to be checked for headlice!"  Jazzsoda: You know, when you buy a bag of hair, you're supposed to get it weaved into your existing hair, not just pile it on top. "Shut up!" *crams another fistful of hair into her hairwad*  CrabofDoom: Don need only hand out McDonald's napkins and pretend to be the bathroom attendant for another half hour, tops, and he'd have enough tips for the cab fare home.  HanoverF: *Wrings flowers' neck, like in her favorite painting.*  AgentQ: "I am the world's preeminent collector of framed colors."  BuckFifty: "Hi, I'm Gerald McRaney and this is Jameson Parker, we're here for the Make a Wish Foundation. Who wanted to appear on an episode of Simon and Simon?" *silence* "Is there a Timmy here?" *Timmy dies to get out of it*  Reynard: Woah. Major props to the guy who lobbed that tennis ball into this guy's pocket full of milk. |
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