 Reynard: "Don't you know who I am?! I'm Chuck Damn Norris! My sperm cures cancer! Or so I am told." *building security bumrush* |  TrickorDoom: Why is this shit on Adult Swim? "Here. Take a nitrous hit. It'll all make sense soon enough." |  Seltaeb: The Detroit Tigers started dressing like ninjas, the thought being that they'd steal bases easier.  Seltaeb: Chuck Norris' birth  SithClone: Chuck Norris Fact: Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Kicks enter a room three minutes before the rest of him does.  Seltaeb: "That's not a punching bag behind me. That's Steven Seagal's nut sack." SithClone: Chuck Norris Fact: Chuck Norris can make gay moustaches straight.  Boogicub: *Chuck gigggles with glee and claps at the cartwheeling clown*  HanoverF: "Hold me back!" "ok" "Hands off the Marty McFly vest!" "But you said-" *Asskicked quite badly*  Seltaeb: If it has a womb, Chuck Norris will make babies with it.  TrickorDoom: *smacks kid on ass* *kid doesn't remember this office being in the Python argument sketch*  Jazzsohfuckitsazombie: So, what exactly was our rationale in sending the Bic pen guy into space? He brought his own sleeping bag? Is that seriously all it takes now? "He also fits in the milk compartment of a refrigerator door." Aaaaah.  Jazzsohfuckitsazombie: "LOOKIT SPACESHIP!" *poke* *SMAAASH* "Damn you and your retard strength, Corey." "YAY STRONG!"  Reynard: "Thanks to Taco Bell, I have become the world's first Mexican grand sumo champion! *FRRRRT* *assistant's flesh melts off*  Jazzsohfuckitsazombie: *sits down* *buckles seatbelt* *pause* *attempts to pull down "lap bar"* *smashes windshield on forehead* *long road to women being accepted as equals gets a little longer*  Seltaeb: Chuck Norris puts pennies on train tracks, too. While they're still in his pocket.  Jazzsohfuckitsazombie: Wait, is that his leg at some weird perspective or... EEW EW EW EEEW! *Mexican wrestler brought a rubber dick to a disturbingly huge real dick fight, confirming long-held stereotypes about Mexicans*  HanoverF: "Yeah, 10% of all fighting fish are like that. Want to go play Madden '09 instead?"  Reynard: *FIZZLE* *SPARK* "Oh crap. Could someone fetch me the hair dryer?" "Again?" "YES AGAIN."  SithClone: He probably would still have that hand if he didnt have that obsessive-compulsive need to pet his animal companions that all spy-movie supervillians seem to have.  Seltaeb: Chuck Norris doesn't use deodorant. He points at random citizens and orders them to lick his armpits clean.  SithClone: *gasp* Short Round stole Chewie's medal! That little shit!  Jazzsohfuckitsazombie: Chuck Norris brings his own desk to work every day. Chuck Norris doesn't want the overnight cleaning people AIDSing up his desk while he's not there. Chuck Norris is losing his inner kung-fu battle with racism.  SithClone: Chuck Norris doesnt need a remote to change the channel. He just says the station out loud. Chuck Norris has this picture where his TV can see it.  Reynard: Chuck Norris doesn't pole dance, poles dance Chuck. Wait, am I doing these right?  Seltaeb: All this, and he still can't grab that teddy bear stuck in the corner.  Shockupant: It won't open! You're kneeling on it! Open, foul door! YOU'RE KNEELING ON IT! I travelled so far, killed so many, and now the door won't open! YOU'RE . . . you know what? I'm going back to Marakesh!  Shockupant: Closed signs are for . . . Wussies. Yes, Chuck, we know. My whole life is a joke, isn't it?  Jazzsohfuckitsazombie: *yanks out cannonball* *dude's face inside is scrunched up in a frown* "That one had my name on it!" *muffled voice in the back*  SithClone: Fortunately, Chuck Norris keeps a trained tapeworm in his stomach for situations like this. It has the strenghth of ten tapeworms. Because it feeds on Chuck Norris. |
| 
| 
|