 HanoverF: About time they made a movie about my favorite part of Shakira |  Reynard: Come on, choose poorly, choose poorly, choose poorly... |  Seltaeb: - for - lovers  Seltaeb: Exploding camels! Run!!! UnReality: "This is why we can't have nice things!" keogh: Some Hollywood types phone it in, but not these guys. No, these producers are code-blue serious. Camera man was too slow? His ass is left behind. Jazzsoda: "But why were we even keeping the C4 in the cooler with the weenies??" "You're senile, old man!" "Why do hot dog buns come in packages of eight when C4 comes in bricks of five?" "You're off cooking detail, Sgt Grandpa."  Reynard: "♪ The hills are alive with the sound of judgement!"  Reynard: "Yes, you'll have to manually fluff the planes! ... Look, war is hell, kid!"  E_B_A: "What the hell are you doing!" "Writing my name in the cake!" "Your name was already written on the cake!" "But not in urine!"  TravisBickle: Hmm, "Have gone to Heaven. Have a nice Tribulation." What's this? "P.S., We ate all the cake, heathen." Sonofabitch.  HanoverF: "Of course I didn't forget it was your birthday. I got you a pilot hat.
I'm gonna need that back before I go."  cScott: ("Boobies, boobies, boobies...")Oo. "Whatcha doin'?" "Praying." "Good boy." ("Boobies, boobies...")Oo.  Seltaeb: That's one weird tie he's wearing...  JediClone: "So I told the Growing Pains writers that I was Born Again now so I couldnt have my character behaving like a self-centered liar anymore. And they said 'Did you forget how to ACT over the hiatus?' F-ing BIGOTS!"  CrabofDoom: "I'm pretty sure Washington decided on the term 'president' to prevent our nation's leaders from crowning themselves, George..."  Occupant: And this is where we're putting the stockades. Stockades? Well, it's gonna be a middle school!  Agent_Moldy: Left Behind: The Kevin McAllister Story.  keogh: "I want you to take care of this guy." "Uh, this is me. Why would you have me kill myself?" "Hey, it's your own fault for having such reasonable rates."  AgentQ: Grown Pain  Jazzsoda: "Wow, what an ugly fucking baby." "Enjoy the rest of the flight." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing. Rapture ya later! Bitch." *doesn't get raptured thanks to that last pithy comment*  Generik: "All right, which one of you fucking inconsiderate pricks 'left behind' that little present in the forward head? You can fucking smell it all the way back to coach, you assholes!!"  AgentQ: "Lady, I'm going to have to ask you to move down. Human contact appalls me." E_B_A: "...and those evolutionists would have you believe filthy lies like humans built the airplanes and that women should be allowed to vote! And gravity!"  UnReality: "Was it good for you?" "You mean was it as good as ascending to heaven to live in the comfort and bosom of our lord and savior Jesus Christ? Um, sure."  AgentQ: The chosen were then raptured. The chosen arrived at the gates of Heaven naked. The chosen were deraptured. God's got body issues like you wouldn't believe.  TravisBickle: Soccer mom vampires - left behind. Fortunately, porn fans are also left behind thus insuring the soccer mom vampires gainful employment. InsideOutMan: *Voice chokes off* *Head tumbles to ground* The Ninja Apocalypse begins.  E_B_A: "Oh blithery blather and rat-a-tat-tooie! My ding-dang car is all splooey! RATS!" In churches everywhere, this film was rated R for profanity. Jazzsoda: Wait, so let me get this straight: All the Christians are gone?
So, what's the problem again?  UnReality: "Get the fuck out, Stan. Jesus is my co-pilot!"  Seltaeb: Trying to set the world record for most simultaneous Dennis Hopper impressions.  E_B_A: "Just a moment, honey... I seem to be plummeting to my death from my hotel balcony and my boss is on the other line..."  E_B_A: He was later shocked to learn his chin was indeed pregnant. UnReality: "Hello, God. Are you there? It's me --" "Margaret?" "No, Kirk." [click]  E_B_A: "Just a second, stewardess... apparently this steel door is some kind of worm hole... let me see if I can grab my own elbow..."  Reynard: "Shit, the comforter got raptured. *checks nightstand* And my Altoids? This armageddon sucks."  E_B_A: No Bichons were raptured, further proving that they are evil, evil little dogs.  JoeCrow: "Remeber to lower landing gear before attempting to land aircraft" Damn..... Had it underlined and everything  Generik: "I wasn't touching myself in Rapturous ecstasy at the thought of going home to Jesus! Honest, I wasn't! ...Well, okay, but only on the nutsack a little bit, not on the shaft or the head!"  E_B_A: Well, Hugo Chavez and Neal Patrick Harris both remain after the rapture. I guess that makes sense... ...but who would have imagined they'd join forces?  CrabofDoom: A dog that loyal isn't good enough for heaven? What. The. FUCK, movie?? MonsterGoGo: Few people realized that the rapture actually meant we'd all be turned into puppy dogs. *Melvin McDonald licks his balls, pleasantly surprised about all those sins he'd committed*  Occupant: Okay everybody sing!
o/' It's a world of sinners in dire disgrace
 HanoverF: Hard core government candidates forgo the flag lapel pin and instead wave a flagpole with their clenched butt cheeks  E_B_A: "...and yet, people still doubt my word that my neighbor, Steve Urkel, is the anti-christ..." Occupant: And now, here's Ollie Williams with the end of the world forecast, What's it look like, Ollie? WE'RE SCREWED! Thank you, Ollie! InsideOutMan: "Ladies and gentlemen, owing to the rapture, we can now say and do anything we want on television without having to worry about overly-sensitive campaign groups writing in. Please enjoy Charles In Charge: UNCUT." MonsterGoGo: "So my fellow broth'uhs and sist'uhs the rapture has come and gone and it's time for us to finally....aw fuck it, all those white folks be gone, it's time to fucking PARTY. Let's all get bank loans and cab rides!"  Maddog: Family and loved ones gone on without you? Realizing that you've been weighed on the scales of eternity and found lacking? ... its Miller Time.  MonsterGoGo: "Wait guys, I figured it out! If I read the Bible sideways it says...'T-H-E-C-A-K-E-I-S-A-L-I-E'...did someone eat evil cake?"  Seltaeb: "Can I squeeze that thing on your head?" E_B_A: "Excuse me... um... I need to get by." "Sorry... I can only move forward." "Wow... you really ARE a corporate pawn." "Didn't the little knob on my head give it away?"  HanoverF: Well no wonder they didn't get raptured, they gave their church a penis and testicles.  WB: Left Behind 2: Home Alone 4  TravisBickle: Only the ones whose shit don't stink get raptured.  JoeCrow: That's a BIG cookie  MonsterGoGo: "Ok, first on the agenda, I'm now President of the world." "Waitaminute buddy, you're just a janitor. What the hell qualifies you?" "'Cuz this is one huge fucking mess to clean up." "He's witty, I'll waste my vote." HanoverF: Stephen Baldwin gets Left Behind?! Shit! *Han breaks out the bible and starts reading* AgentQ: *sexy music* *climbs onto table* *crawls along sexily toward VP* *rolls onto back* *pulls off tie, holds it in his teeth, moans* *VP hates these meetings*  E_B_A: "I see God didn't rapture any of the black people yet..." "Yeah. It's like an '80s horror movie in reverse." MonsterGoGo: "Wait guys, I figured it out! If I read the Bible sideways it says...'T-H-E-C-A-K-E-I-S-A-L-I-E'...did someone eat evil cake?"  JoeCrow: I'm averting my eyes my Lord Well stop it |
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