 GuloGulo: So she's full of parasitic celebrities? |  Hippie: Wow, great product. Should my solar plexus be eating my shirt after taking it? *I'm more worried about the rigidity of LaWanda's hair at the moment, Becky. And by the by, nobody's worshipping me here... |  AgentQ: And to make crimping fun, you can have a hand-monster conversation while you're doing it! "BLAH BLAH I AM A CRIMPER!" "BLAH BLAH I AM A HAND MONSTER!"  Reynard: Screw the Maxiglide or whatever, where do I get one of those Julia Roberts teeth necklaces? And is it true that she sheds and replaces them like a shark?  GuloGulo: "Call now, or I'll rip her fucking head off...whoops!"  Agent_Moldy: "Skank." "Whore." "Hag." "Slut." "Britney." "Hey now, that's below the belt!"  UnReality: And to think, just a week ago she was Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska!  Reynard: "Well, it was a grueling session, but we finally got a confession out of that hair."  Generik: Blondens. Stupidens.  Hippie: Before: Content to listen vacantly while you talk about your day at work. After: Insists on trying out untested material she thought of while at the salon in her deadpan delivery.  MonsterGoGo: *lice slide down*  CrabofDoom: Twin Var! AA! Man, these words scrambles suck.  Hippie: Samantha's got the perfect triangle-head shape! We love her! Poor Danielle hasn't been the same since hearing her first P.J. Harvey album. E_B_A: "So what do you think of your hair, Samantha?" "It's pretty." "Thanks. And what do you think of your hair, Danielle?" "DEAD BY DAWN! DEAD BY DAWN! DEAD BY DAWN!" "Ahh... thanks."  Reynard: Yep, that will leave a mark! *boing* Stay tuned for more of the French Revolution's Funniest Home Videos!  Seltaeb: His middle name is Sammy.  CrabofDoom: *theme to the Mormon Bunch begins* *still going, twenty minutes later*  jammer427: Part of the secret plot to clone Paul McCartney.  GuloGulo: "I have to admit, I had my doubts the first time they stuck that rod through me and started spinning me over an open flame."  Agent_Moldy: "Simply take any one of your longer fingers, open your mouth, insert the finger -- get it way back in your throat, and your body naturally takes over from there. It's easy! Like me!"  MonsterGoGo: "And you ma'am, how do you en-" "Hey Phil, you're talking to a ham." "Ham? It's a woman, it's-" "We're cooking it later." "It has hair." "Its clown ham." "Clown ham? That's not-" "Just stop interviewing the ham.  Seltaeb: The frosted mohawk makes Ron relevant to the younger demographic, who are often in the market for compact ovens.  Jazzsoda: "Look, I'm not saying 8 lb Pork Loin is fat, but when he goes to buy an 8 lb. Pork Pan, they ask if he wants it gift wrapped! Oh! But seriously, we're just here tonight to have some fun with our friend 8 lb Pork Loin."  E_the_E: Hear that, OJ? They're washable.  Generik: * Serial Killer * European Clown * Polygamist * Prostitute * Bass Player * Porn Fluffer * Professional Bowler * Man Shot In Reno Just To Watch Dying  Hippie: We've got six minutes left on the clock people and I still don't have all the nicknames I need for these fraternity pledges. I guess someone's getting the screwdriver in the eye after all!  Jazzsoda: They're all wearing Post-Its written in Ron's wife's handwriting reminding Ron to do various tasks around the house. Meanwhile, Ron's wife just left him and his audience of idiots is all he has left.  HanoverF: Stores are stuck up like that, not selling stuff people wouldn't buy  AgentQ: "Here, Mom! I bought you some outdated technology!" "Thanks?" "It cost $159.80, which is kind of bizarre considering most such examples of outdated technology can be had for a few bucks!" "Um... thanks?"  GuloGulo: This loophole has allowed thousands of knives into our prisons.  Seltaeb: Call now and get a severed human foot absolutely free!  E_the_E: Carnie Wilson secretly vows to eat the entire audience.  Generik: "Aw, mom! Vagina for dinner again?!?" |
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