 Reynard_T_Fox: "I hear you're getting a bit chubby around the Texas." |  HanoverF: I'm not sure the look you want for your infomerical is 'We can't give this shit away so the warehouses are full and it's starting to pile up in our house." |  Generik: "Breast delivery, ma'am. would you like me to help you install them?"  E_B_A: "And as you can see, thanks to our sleep system, Keira Knightley is having the best rest of her life..."  JediClone: You'll get the best night's sleep EVER with your new SleepMurder Bed! Just take the pillow like so to your partner's face like so...  Reynard_T_Fox: "You WILL DIE! DIE! AND QUIT SINGING!" Tony works through his childhood trauma from the Pirates of the Carribbean ride.  Generik: The good news is that his hair is ribbed for her pleasure. The bad news is that she's really not so much into "pleasure."  JediClone: The patented odor-absorbing fibers in the SleepMurder bed guarantee the neighbors wont smell any decomposition! You'll save a fortune in divorce fees! NOW how much would you pay?  Reynard_T_Fox: "YOU WILL DIE! DIIIE! ROLL INTO THE GUTTER OF HELL!" Tony has lots of issues.  HanoverF: I never knew there was a huge industry devoted to prostitute medication.  AgentQ: "Check out the monitor! I flayed this woman alive!" "Um... and, uh... you can see how her spine's alignment, um--" "Fuck that noise! I fuckin' flayed that shit! I wore her skin around the house!" JediClone: If you order now, we'll throw in a free spy camera! Make your own porn! Hell, make your own snuff-films! The SleepMurder Bed does it all!  keogh: It was a hail Mary pass, but Tony figured he had nothing to lose by trying to convince the feds that this pillow was actually him.  GodoHell: A guilty conscience will do that. JoeCrow: also uses her outside voice inside and runs with scissors  Jazzsoda: Fern Monster's gonna let him live. Fern Monster doesn't want to get all losered up.  JediClone: "But Tony! Are there many SleepMurder style options?" "Have a list of your partner's worse allergies?" "Pennicilin and Bee Stings!" "Great! We just sprinkle some bee venom all over the sheets and-" "Anaphalantastic!"  Meldrick: We guarentee you a good nights sleep, even with Woody Allen leering at you.  Reynard_T_Fox: "I hate rectangles."  UnReality: "Truth be told, I sort of miss the sleep-deprivation. The hallucinations were kind of neat."  Jazzsoda: %Booooooooorn to beeeee whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite%  AgentQ: Can't look at the pillow. Too busy noticing the disturbing way his arm tapers down to a fine point.  Reynard_T_Fox: "DIE MOTORCYLE! YOU'LL NEVER NEARLY KILL BOB DYLAN AGAIN!" "Tony..."  JediClone: If he can still slice a tomato with that pillow afterward, then i'll be impressed |
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