 Seltaeb: "Why did I give that kid my jersey? I'm gonna be topless for the second half!" |  JoeCrow: stupificious boxifications |  Reynard_T_Fox: You can buy the designer chinstraps to look cool, but they really don't hold your helmet on any better.  AgentQ: "OW! My hand! OW! My eye! OW! My hand again!"  Shankenstein: "Now with sheep!"  HanoverF: Typefacing Is Yes No Confusing What Purple GersonKolumbus: "Flex time?" "No." "On premise daycare?" "No." "Profit sharing?" "No." "Air conditioning." "Within the decade."  WryBatty: Danger looms.  Seltaeb: "We put Gilbert Gottfried inside this drum!" "Um, why?" "Modernization!" Reynard_T_Fox: "Today we'll be sewing a giant sweater the Jack Lalane Way!"  keogh: "HUMAN, DO NOT TOUCH POWERGRIDBOT. POWERGRIDBOT WILL..." "...do any damn thing I tell him to do, boopsie." "YES, MR. SINATRA."  AgentQ: Useless Inventions #26: The opaque hourglass.  Hippie: And this machine makes sure each Coleman brand thermos arrives at the stores containing anthrax. Our lawyers have recommended we do away with this machine.  Agent_Ghouldy: "Guy Pierce? Working in a Charmin plant?" "Yep." "Huh... so what's with the large roll?" "It's for Adam Sandler." "Why such a big-ass roll?" "He's a big ass."  Hippie: Young Gordon Liddy wasn't quite ready to hold his hand over an open flame for any length of time. But he did test for months on a very warm giant marshmallow.  Jazzsoda: Back when Kleenex required a doctor's prescription, millions lacking health insurance settled for blowing their noses on money, leading to every major disease outbreak of the 20th century.  Reynard_T_Fox: See that? JPEG Artifactitis is highly contagious. Keep it home and get plenty of rest, people!  Seltaeb: Yep, that cage really protects her from robbers. Unless they reach through the hole. Or over the top. Yep, totally safe.  keogh: The fence protected Sandy against everything but harsh criticism, but she deserved most of it.  AgentQ: Unfortunately, he beat them, and child authorities had to take the ideas away from him.  Hippie: Yes, I remember him well, officer. He robbed me of $46. Well, he was squat--a cash register, yes. But I'd remember those B.D. eyes anywhere.  HanoverF: I never knew Rosie the Jetsons robot was so into piercings... err rivetings?  Agent_Ghouldy: "Mary, why do you have tissues on your head?" "No pockets." "Are... are those... used...?"  HanoverF: It's like pinball, but instead of balls it has hotdogs, and instead of flippers you just sort of shake your fists at it in outrage and demand your quarters back  Reynard_T_Fox: Well, as long as they're burrowing into grindcore metal bands and not me.  Hippie: Dear journal: Well, Grandma's replaced her ribbon candy dish with a bowl of dead lab mice. And her methodology for studying pubic hair is downright shoddy.  HanoverF: Kool Aide Man! "OhYe-" NO! Thats a reinforced concrete wall! *CRASH* Oh the humanity... the sugary sweet humanity  JediClone: the scientitific nomenclature for this single-celled organism is Jeremus Roniculli  HanoverF: Meanwhile in Paris Hilton...  GersonKolumbus: Oh great. It's another one of Barry Bond's muscle strands trying to take out the Golden Gate.  Reynard_T_Fox: "And that's why we're not going to Carl's Jr. for lunch." "Okay, okay, I got the point somewhere in the first five minutes of the slide show, thank you."  Seltaeb: *KNOB-BOT INSISTS YOU TWIST KNOB-BOT'S KNOBS!* Well okay, I can certainly do-- *WET YOUR FINGERS FIRST* Eeeeeew...  Reynard_T_Fox: "Keep up the hard work, Jed, and someday you'll earn the second strap, and then who knows? The headlamp, the the fanny pack, hell, you could wear the Admiral Groucho Glasses." "Nice."  Jazzsoda: "Good morning, Captain....?" "Niceass." *slap* Captain Niceass gets hit with more sexual harassment suits before 6am than most of us do all day.  AgentQ: Donald's Flying Nun Halloween costume was, to put it mildly, a bit over the top.  Hippie: Just selfish of Betty to wear three toupees, while poor bald Marvin went without. Betty was an uberbitch, though.  Reynard_T_Fox: When reporting a big story, always bring a backup reporter to take notes on your notes, and another backup reporter to try to keep the backup backup's notes in his head.  SesameKinjiru: The Sony Soulcapture 7 MP uses a fly reel to bring in resistant essences.  JediClone: "Sanctudairy! *BONG!* Sanctudairy! *BONG!*" |