 AgentQ: According to Wilfred Pilsbury's sighting, the Loch Ness Monster is a large creature with two decks, covered with white paint and filled with frolicking people. It's call sounds not unlike a horn. |  keogh: Little-known cinematic fact: John Carpenter got the idea for "The Fog" when, on vacation in Scotland, a living fogbank came from the Loch and pantsed him. |  Reynard_T_Fox: It sure uses a lot of dirt, and I don't know what the bongo drums add to the process, but be damned if that machine doesn't star the fuck out of your sneetch.  AgentQ: For years, Huey tried to ride off into the sunset, but it always finished setting before he could get to it. Maybe if he left early...  Jazzsoda: Let's see if they get fresh with the next dude comes through this cornfield packin a gat. Shiiiit.  AgentQ: The ghostly nudist haunted the rec center's pool, not because she'd died there, but just because it was a fun place to show off.  Hippie: Mmm-mmm! Shitloads of cookies! Who says sexual repression never launched an enterprise?  AgentQ: This was all that was left of the nerd after his disintegration ray experiment went awry. We're still not sure what half of this shit is. Why was he holding a water balloon? Fuckin' nerd.  d_cat_chopra: number three: the larch.  Reynard_T_Fox: "Woah man, the Fag-O-Meter is in the red! There must be a huge source of FAG nearby!" "Did you calibrate that thing properly?" "I calibrated your MOMMA!"  AgentQ: No one was quite sure at what point the union stopped being a union and turned into a fertility cult.  Hippie: Another gangbang class at the learning annex tonight. It was Mike's turn to bring the unsuspecting-but-kinda-into-it chick.  Reynard_T_Fox: "NO! You're NOT gonna die on me, whetstone!" *pump pump pump* *breathe*  AgentQ: "Hello, how may I direct your call?" "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Randy! Lookin' at you!" "I always wondered why they had a Secure In Your Masculinity? checkbox on my application."  Reynard_T_Fox: Trapped in the archfiend's underground lair in Death Valley, Aquaman calls on his aquatic brethren to save him. Five dozen brine shrimp leap out of a nearby alkaline pothole to their deaths.  AgentQ: A nation in peril! The Mopey Men Of Science LEAP INTO... er... they BRAVE THE... um... gosh, guys. Way to go. The nation blew up. [Editor's Note: Shouldn't that be the Moody Institute of Science?]  Hippie: Our cameras can almost... yes! There, we can see what's going on in the Scrubbing Bubbles compound... the FBI is turning up the Bryan Adams and getting ready for an assault...  Jazzsoda: Jim Jarmusch's latest masterwork delivers a shocking new view of the city from the perspective of the DiscardedBabyCam! And yes, there is a lot of crying in the soundtrack!  Jazzsoda: I hate it when you piss off a little kid and he starts to glow and grow into a full-sized man right in front of your eyes, and then you have to kick him in the nuts AGAIN just to get his candy. Yeah.  AgentQ: "They lied to me! The shovel is useless! Useless!" Hippie: What the... a broom?!? Damn you, mom and dad, for giving me inferior genes!  Jazzsoda: "They lied to me! I should've known the Harley would never float! 'Won't matter if you go fast enough,' they said! Fuck me I'm gullible!" Hippie: Only the piercing wail of his triangle could keep the sharks at bay now. Goddamn you, givers of the inferior genes...  Hippie: The giant Q-tip was the least of his problems. Ron could never go on land, being a human/floating Swiss Army knife hybrid. Oh, ye of inferior genes...  Hippie: Boy, your hands are smooth, Claire! *Of course, Trish! That's because I use Any Ol' Shit! *Any Ol' Shit? I've heard of that! Is it good? *It's not something special, Trish! It's Any Ol' Shit!  Jazzsoda: "Hey Sammy, that looks good. Whacha eatin?" "Nut 'n Bitch." "Damn, that's cold. Taste anything like Nigga Please?"  AgentQ: "I aced my final! YES! Oh shit I was at the end of a cliff! AAAGGGHH!!!" |