 Jazzsoda: "Hello? Hello? Dammit, who hooked my phone up to this tiny reindeer again? Do I have any messages?" *neigh* |
 Hippie: Watch out, cool birds! Here comes the world's most uptight eagle! |
 HanoverF: Once you learn the secret of the levitating hat, it goes from being a neat trick to really awkward |
 Hippie: Fuck you, I ain't capping you. You want it too much. |
 Jazzsoda: Dell lit his bubble pipe and silently hoped, but they both knew that twenty-three second long fart wasn't the house settling on its foundation. |
 Hippie: I've finally done it! A robot Patti LaBelle! And they said it couldn't be done... or it was a waste of time, I can't remember the exact words... |
 GuloGulo: "Alright, give me your suit! I need a disguise, and fast!" |
 Shanky: What's that up my arse?" "Rollie Fingers!" |
 HanoverF: Unfortunely Hugh Jackman sees his shadow, insuring X3 will suck balls |
 Agent_Moldy: After the evidence on her cape was brought to light, Red Riding Hood would admit that she did, indeed, have a relationship with the wolf that was inappropriate. |
 Reynard_T_Fox: "Yaay, we finally get to go on the roller coaster!" |
 teambanzai: So kids did you mother tell you that I don't satisfy her anymore? |
 Reynard_T_Fox: Unfortunately, no one warned the awed townspeople that the maid was in the World's Largest Typewriter before Del decided to write his manifesto. |
 HanoverF: The Baleen Whale Machine, able to do the work of 2.35 Baleen Whales, for no discernable reason |
 teambanzai: Every time you masturbate god derails a train. Great as long as no kittens get hurt I'm okay with that. |
 teambanzai: Most people don't know that the dunk tank was invented in a steel mill. Saddly the person in the tank only ever got one dunk. |
 Jazzsoda: Marty McFly thoughtlessly buys a hammer at Wal-Mart, putting this local business out of existence on the other side of town. |
 Hippie: Hey! Nice wallet, Joe! *Thanks. I just got-- *Jill puts on ski mask* *Hand it over, asshole! |
 AgentQ: Dinner was going pleasantly for a change. So when the mole tunnelled up through the kitchen floor and ran up Larry's pants leg, he didn't dare say anything to disturb the pleasant atmosphere. |
 GuloGulo: Every day the same; the alarm clock goes off at 6, weep until 7:30, at work by 8. |
 Hippie: Pure marshmallow for breakfast, pure marshmallow for lunch... for dinner? Oh, I don't know... maybe... pure fuckin' marshmallow? Yeah. Life's sweet. |
 Agent_Moldy: No, Carrot Top, I will not beg you for your friendship. I will, however, beg you to jump in front of a moving bus. |
 keogh: Peeking into the dimension next door, Chad was relieved to see he had the good sense to club Carrot Top to death in any world. |
AgentQ: "Okay, one can's-worth into the pot. Then I can take the can and glue it to a... No. No, that way lies prop comedy. I can't allow that to happen to me." |
 HanoverF: How many hands are touching inappropriate things in this picture? Take your time... |
 Reynard_T_Fox: "But you don't *have* to be a knob-kneed, flat-chested, limp-haired, sallow-skinned little goblin!" "You're either the worst or the best Mary Kay saleslady ever." |
 Hippie: Wow! They're going to film Cooking With Robert Smith in OUR kitchen, dear! *Don't mind me, dear. I'm just vomiting from my very balls back here. |
 AgentQ: "Dammit, Ed, I'm trying to do my taxes. Would you stop spewing voluminous amounts of strangely-colored mucus all over my table?" |
 Hippie: The chemical composition of a teepee. Lots of Aquiescence! |
GuloGulo: I see they've released transcriptions of the Abu Ghraib "interrogations." |
 AgentQ: While fingerfucking his lab equipment yet again, Lyle realized he truly was the loneliest scientist. |
 AgentQ: While tweaking his lab equipment's imaginary nipples, Langston realized that he was truly the second loneliest scientist. |
 Reynard_T_Fox: Fixing a drink for an imaginary date? Sorry, Hugh, that doesn't even put you in the Top 25 of Loneliest Scientists. "Not even if she's actually the life-size anatomy model in the closet?" Well... |
 Hippie: Larry had his bacon cryogenically frozen, knowing one day they'd find a cure for his bacon allergy... otherwise known as high cholesterol. |
 joe678: "This machine only works on Sunday. It's a Mass spectrograph." (hiding behind boulder) |
 Generik: "Nobody loves me like you do, Mr. Big Gorilla Robot Head..." "Ook." |
 GersonK: "Ed, would you mind licking somebody else's camera?" |
 Jazzsoda: Tommy hotwires the 1954 model Fuckbot he found in his dad's basement and is slammed in the nuts by a Dr. Pepper. Why did dad always have to fuck around upgrading everything? |
 keogh: "The Early Withdrawer has struck again, Short Change!" "Golly, Cap'n Currency! What do we do?" " Quick, to the Pneumatic Bank TubeMobile!" >VRRRMMM< |
 Reynard_T_Fox: Viewmaster and Player Piano Music knew they were next to be put in the oven unless they thought fast... |
 AgentQ: "On the left you see a man made of marshmallows who has very good posture. On the right, a marshmallow man with weak, saggy posture. BURN THE WEAK MARSHMALLOW MAN, SO THAT I MAY FEED!" |
Hippie: Now here *tap tap* is the skeleton of a real squaa-re. And this *tap tap* is the remains of one hep coo-oool cat. Which would you rather be? Fuck it. They're both dead. Let's grab a Rolling Rock. |